Wednesday, November 12, 2008


"don't leave"
I cried out. I wanna see the face of my King. I wanna hear the heart of my father.
Then a father prayed about that heaven inside of me.
i saw a room in His house. 
first it was this big simple cream colored room
and then it was a room full of tree trunks.
with a fire in the middle and we were gathered around singing.
but He was the fire.
It was inside so that we never had to leave.
everything we see on earth outside, was inside His house. 
Nature was thriving. 
and then the room was these gorgeous white floors. i think it was pearl. kinda looked like awesome marble. 
regardless of how it looked, it was always BEAUTIFUL and AMAZING.

"this is the sound of my living room"
it was beautiful.
and refreshing.

i have spent so much time simply being aware that i can walk in and out of His house anytime that i want. 
i've gone in just long enough to be able to tell people about it.
and i've simply told them instead of just inviting them in.

but tonight He said over and over.
"don't leave"
"don't leave"

then  I saw myself at different times in my life, when people would come over and I would beg them to stay. 
All my life I've been that way. 
I have moments where I won't seem to let people leave. 
To the point where I pretty much stop only because I feel like I'm getting annoying.
Then usually once they leave, I sit there and say to myself, "why did you try and try and try to get them to stay? you really don't need them here for anything." That is very true, but there is just something about having the person there in that moment that drives me to trying to convince them to stay.
He reminded me of the way I feel in those moments 
and He was that way towards me tonight- kinda giddy,  a little crazy...
"Don't leave. Don't leave."
He doesn't need me, but oh how He longs for me to stay!

Calling people in from the north, south, east and west has a whole different meaning to me now. I used to just walk out of the house to go find people to tell about what I was experiencing. 
I have tried to convince them of something I should have been calling and inviting them into.
I will now call out loud enough for the ones outside to hear me from inside the house. Spirit sound transcends physical sound waves so they are going to be drawn in by a sound that they can't even figure out how they are hearing until they are in there. 
Everything makes sense in His house. Walking outside to tell them about whats inside--- it has always seemed like the logical thing to do. Probably because that is logical. And really, now that almost doesnt even make sense to me anymore. My Spirit is 100% spirit. And my physical body was made to interact with a Spiritual God because it was created by Him as an expression of His character. Thus I will call from the inside. and they will hear.
 No more trying to convince from outside- only inviting from inside. 

I sat there like a kid on a carpet square. Taking in every ounce of the unfolding story, but here the story was already unfolded, and unfolding. I sat there and just stared at the flame in front of me.