Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Tonight some friends came in to the room. They helped chip away at the stack (what room and what stack you ask? I described it here).

And you know whats awesome about it? The stack wasn't even brought up. It was just dealt with through a good dose of Holy Ghost refreshing and a beautifully functioning body.

I feel alive tonight. I feel awake. I feel like the glass is just a little clearer. I was honest with the Lord, and He, through that beautifully functioning body, responded to me with liberating truths. He is so good. I am more and more convinced of it every day.

I've also been doing some chipping away myself. Its actually been by doing things that I actually thought may have been part of the source of the stack. What I thought had the potential to add to it, has actually helped get rid of it. Crazy how that works huh? Let me explain.

I was so caught up in trying to "ready myself" for what the Lord wants to do, that I was making it about me. He showed me that if I was truly "ready" when He showed up in power, that it would seem like He did so because I was ready. So for now, I'm opening myself vs. readying myself. I've shifted back to doing things for the Lord out of desire and not just discipline or obligation.

Also, I am learning His voice and trying to just "go with it" even when I question if it was just me... Theres such wonder in hearing and obeying. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong, and many times, I just don't know. Regardless, I would rather err on the side of obedience vs. passivity. Its not easy, but He is worth the journey.

I love His teachings.

Friday, November 13, 2009


I come today with a new honesty. Really, I almost named this blog "a new honesty." but i'm just so set on this one word title thing.... anyways.
I've been in Good Hope, GA since last Sunday with little two year old Bella while her family is on the Israel trip with Dr. Lowery. I was greatly urged to take advantage of this 2 weeks by some awesome friends. My response every time this was said to me was, "don't worry, I will."

I wanted to get here and pray and read the Word and read books and do some writing while of course taking great care of Bella.

Well, week one has come to a close, and its looked nothing like I expected. I don't really guess I am surprised by this, what in my life has looked like I expected it to?

Although, as I reflect on this past week, I don't feel like I have been entirely unproductive, I mean, I guess I've learned some things, but overall... I'll be honest (hence the title), I haven't really written, or read much- books or the Bible, nor have I spent much time in prayer.

Now don't get me wrong, I live consistently aware of the Lord and don't know how to not think about Him, but I'm fighting for focus right now. And probably really not fighting, moreso just using the battle as an excuse to sit w/o doing much of anything.

I can't really tell you what I have filled my time with. I haven't done anything wrong, but instead I've simply not done. Sins of omission are my issue, not sins of commission.

Yet, here's where my struggle lies. I refuse to enter into a place of striving that causes confusion. I don't want to be Martha. I want to be Mary and sit at His feet. Yet I recognize that right now, I'm just sitting.

I guess it kind of feels like this:

I'm in a room, just me and Him, but instead of being so close, at His feet, I'm on the opposite side sitting in a chair, hearing Him beckon me and with everything with me wanting to come to Him. But it feels like theres a stack or a wall as high as the ceiling of stuff between He and I. I can still hear Him, I can see Him a little through the cracks between the stuff and I want with everything in me to get over there, I just don't know how. The thought of breaking through that wall tires me out. I'll explain why.

Sometimes His voice is hard to hear because some stuff in the pile makes noise and I can't really make out what He is saying. Other times, the room is just silent. Thankfully I can see Him through the cracks.

Sometimes I sit and make a list of all the ways I'm gonna start tackling this pile, but the moment I get out of my chair and approach it, I fall asleep. Trust me! With everything in me I don't want to fall asleep. So I end up falling down on the hard floor taking a nap. Then I get up sore and go sit back in my chair attempting to regain enough strength to walk over to that stack again.

Sometimes I decide that I'm gonna look at everything and see if I can figure out how to make it leave, then I notice my eyes are on the stuff again and not on Him. So I find a crack and gaze.

Sometimes I walk over to the pile and pick up a book, trying to find a paragraph, a sentence, a word- some kind of solution for all of this and then everything starts being so loud again, to where even the best scholars couldn't concentrate. So I wander back over to my silent chair and sit-staring through the cracks to make sure He is still there.

Of course, I always know that He will be, He's never left me or forsaken me.

Sometimes friends come and stand next to me and talk- I love it, they encourage me and give me strength and sometimes don't say a word. They just stand there and gaze at Him with me. I often wish that they in their strength could help me rid the room of the stack, but they don't seem to know how to get rid of it either. Either that, or they are pretty confident they know how, but they leave without touching it. Sometimes I think He doesn't let them. Others, I don't think they see it. And some, they see it just like I do- and they hate it just as much as me, but they don't know the answer either. So they comfort me with their hugs and step out.

Sometimes, the room is flooded, on both sides and on top of the stack with people worshipping. Some are even in the middle of it, its almost like they and the stuff are in the exact same spot. I can't get to those places though, because of that pile, the pile that isn't even there for some of them. When the room is full, those are the times when the top part of the stack kind of falls over onto my side and makes a bit of a ramp. In those moments I can run up and dance on top, seeing Him like I only get to in these moments. In these times, I hear and see so clearly. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in His eyes and the joy of everyone around, that I become almost certain its gone. Then, they leave and its like one of those blowy, noise maker, party things- its sticks straight out when you blow into it and rolls right back up the moment you quit.(unless you have one of the ghetto ones like at Christina's party, but thats beside the point and does not work for my illustration...) Anyways, when they leave, the ramp rolls right back up and I slide down and plop down in my chair again. Now sometimes the Ramp rolls up slowly, but needless to say, it ALWAYS rolls back up. Why? Heck if I know, I don't even know why the whole thing is there in the first place. I can't even tell you what all the stuff is- its just stuff.
THAT is the very reason that I never want to stop. I'd love to see revival hit where we just stay in a consistent flow, and people don't ever leave that room, so that I don't have to worry about the wall.

At least I'm in the room with Him, I'm honored that He would continue to be with me, and to beckon me, I just wish I knew how to get over there or stay on top I guess I just realized something. I suppose I have been on top of the stack where I can see clearly and hear clearly and dance with absolute freedom, but I don't guess I've ever made back down onto His side where I can sit with Him. Maybe I've never tasted freedom in its truest sense. Maybe all February 26,2007 (the day I was freed from confusion) did was unclog all the holes so I could see through the cracks.

So, what to do?

I know, I know, "prayer and fasting and seeking."
Or the other answer, "you don't have to do anything!"

So which is it?
A healthy balance? Maybe. I don't know, but I wish someone would help me achieve that, or tell me how to not do anything and still be doing those things, or get rid of the stack for me, or tell me how to get over there, tell me how to get entirely rid of the big wall of stuff, or...... just something.

A lot of people would just get too frustrated and walk out of the room completely complaining that its just too hard, but I would never, could never, will never, ever, ever do that.
Because He has ravished my heart. His compassion and love overwhelms me. I'm madly in love with Him and He with me. I will never ever leave this room. He and I both know that.

I'm so close to Him, but I won't stop. I must get to His feet on the other side of this thing.

With tears welling up in my eyes, I'm asking, will you help? Even if you don't know how, maybe at least now you will be aware.
I need you desperately.

Monday, September 21, 2009


Lord I commit to look at Your face and not just Your heart. I will draw near to who you are through obedience to Your Rhema and Your Logos. I commit to read and to run. I'm running into Your open arms again. Lord, I refuse to just seek out what is on Your heart for me to do, but instead I seek out intimacy with my King. Lord, instead of searching for Your heart, I'm going to let You see mine. Through this, I will be positioned to gain Your heart instead of just seeing whats on Your heart with no means to fulfill it. This is my commitment my Lord, Here I come.

Saturday, June 13, 2009


I'm connected with a ministry called the Extreme. I posted a blog on our myspace today- check it out: Ice Cream Detour

Monday, June 8, 2009


I want to fall in love all over again 
Capture me in your arms
I need your strength and power
Jesus I need You to come and fill me
all over again

Lord I commit to you today all over again
I've had to say it over and over
Yet Your grace still covers me
and You welcome me into Your presence
all over again

Teach me to find everything in You all over again
teach me to rid myself of myself more each day
Teach me to sound like You 
and walk like You, and talk like You
all over again

God I want You to consume my thoughts all over again
I pray that You fill my mind with whats on Yours
I need clarity and wisdom 
and for You to renew my mind
all over again

Lord I am overwhelmed by Your love all over again
thank You for never ceasing to amaze me
You are more than enough for me
Just thinking on You, I'm falling in love
all over again

Thursday, May 7, 2009


1.  So I think its pretty weird.... 
that some of the people I'm closest to these days have never seen that side of me.

I don't know what it is... I get into what has been affectionately called "mander unleashed" mode. and i dont even know what goes on. lots of laughter, and lots of insanity. and really this whole side of me that could potentially be VERY annoying to many people, I mean really. it almost annoys me. but not around certain people. hmmm.... maybe its the whole, be all things to all people? who knows. not me. of course what do i know these days??

2.  in other news, I need to write, yet never know what to write. 

I still get asked all the time what I am doing. well um. I know that I'm not going back to school. and that the Lord has been showing me that I need to write more. well I often sit in front of a notebook or a computer and stare... and get like halfway through a sentence and usually not even finish it. really, the purpose of this here blog, is just so I'm writing... this is better than nothing.

3.  I remembered tonight part of the reason why I love being at the Element. the ways of thinking some of these people have are so far beyond normalcy. really, its just stuff I never really seem to think about otherwise. Like for example tonight- they were talking about God's will.  And if we are supposed to just seek the Lord and make our own decisions knowing that by seeking God we will be in His will no matter what we choose, or if we are supposed to wait around for confirmation and a direct word as far as what to do. Personally, I lean more towards the latter, but really in between. Yes, seek the Lord, use wisdom, consult authority, etc. I dont necessarily think theres anything intrinsically wrong with just choosing things, but I have seen the unique beauty that comes from waiting on the Lord. 

Well. there it is. a few thoughts on paper (or computer screen- whatever). Its a start. more like a re-start I guess. 

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


I am done asking why. 
I've been asking the Lord that question for too long. 
And attempting to make sense of things that probably aren't meant to make sense.

So often I question what I think the Lord might be saying to me instead of just doing it. 
And you know what? its not too often that I get an answer. 
All it does it create stress and really the hated word, confusion. 
Why would I create something I hate? 
Thats why I'm done asking why. 

Its time to just act on what I feel the Lord is saying. 
If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. 
Holy Spirit will show me if its displeasing to Him.
If I am right and it simply makes no sense, chances are, it will in the future. and if not, so what. its not my will I am after anyways. If He wants me to do something for no reason at all, I'll still do it- just to please my Father. 

And the 'What ifs' and regrets are just dumb. 
I'm over that too. It gets me nowhere. 

So for everyone who wants to know what in the world I'm doing, 
I've been saying, I don't know, but really, I do know. 
Following the cloud and the fire. And gathering stones on the journey.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


Hebrews 3:1-3 (The Message)
1 So, my dear Christian friends, companions in following this call to the heights, take a good hard look at Jesus. He's the centerpiece of everything we believe,2 faithful in everything God gave him to do. Moses was also faithful, 3 but Jesus gets far more honor. A builder is more valuable than a building any day.

God I pray that we have the revelation of how faithful You are.
When we are walking through the valley of the shadow of death, let us remember that its only a shadow.
Let us take comfort in your faithfulness. For Your love never fails. 
By You, O God, I stay amazed.

Faithful Lord, when You get the greatest Glory, I get the greatest good.
When I am hurting, You are faithful to mend my brokenness.
When I am dry, You are faithful to wash me in Your cleansing flood.
When I am weak, I am so very strong. For Your faithfulness remains- its  my weakness that perfects Your power.
Thank You Lord for being faithful and just to forgive my sins.

You never leave me or forsake me.

God You are the faithful God-
The one who keeps Your covenant of love to a thousand generations to those who love You and keep Your commands.
The one who does no wrong, You are upright, and just.
The one who shows Yourself faithful to the faithful.
The one who keeps us strong.
The one who protects, cleanses, and forgives.
The Creator who cannot deny Himself, thus remains faithful even in our faithlessness.
You are Faithful in all You do.
You are the rider on the white horse, called Faithful, and True. In righteousness You judge and make war.

Your faithfulness makes it so easy to trust You.
May I learn to be faithful to You, Jesus, just as You have been faithful to the Father.
Faithful and True, I honor You today.

Monday, March 30, 2009


Never in my life have I seen and heard so much emphasis and talk about the end times. 
Never in my life have I sensed such an urgency in the Spirit -- theres such a drawing towards prayer right now- prayer without ceasing.

We are reaching a point where the dividing line between the saved and the unsaved will begin to become very clear. For so long, so many have claimed to be saved and have not lived a lifestyle that brings glory to the Father.

 The Lord is placing a demand on our commitment right now. 

We as the body of Christ are in a time where our faith, belief, and trust are being tested in so many ways.  The Lord is drawing hearts and revealing Himself to His people. 
We are reaching a point where we must decide- die to ourselves now or die an eternal death.
The middle ground is fading away. 

I sense an urgency in the Spirit like never before.
I long to see the face of my King like never before.

No longer will I sit still waiting on life to happen around me. 
No longer will I feel as though there is nothing to do.
No longer will I be shy about the beauty of the Father. 

I am so over what people think.
For so long I have said people don't bother me, yet I change what I talk about around so many people as to not be viewed as "overly spiritual."
I am so over that! 
I take delight in the fact that people will be able to see that I am in such an intimate, close relationship with the King of the Universe. There is absolutely no shame in that, what an honor!

I have a peace and a confidence that will sustain me and propel me into the promises the Lord has shared with me. 
However, I am realizing more and more that my life is not to be lived with the focus on getting to that promise, but focus on Glorifying the Father and being placed into that promise. 

I cannot get myself there. Learned that one.
I WILL live my life to bring Glory to my Father every day. 
Is the Lord coming back soon? Well no man knows the day or the hour, yet I refuse to ignore the drawing that is  becoming so evident throughout the body. 
I don't know when the Lord will return, and what its all going to look like, but I will take heed to this drawing. I will bring Glory and Honor to my Father daily and live life with a constant awareness of the urgency of the hour. 
Whether the Lord is coming tomorrow or ten thousand years from now, He has marked this season with an intimate urgency for a purpose.
I will not ignore this.


Sunday, February 22, 2009



peace and boldness resound today
I am so thankful for all God has done today. Its been an incredibly refreshing day. The Lord knew my heart even though my body and emotions were screaming resistance. I'm so glad He sees past all that. He has blown me away with His faithfulness today. What peace and joy. And really, its been so easy. So--- not me. I've reached my end.  tired, worn out, weak, in pain.  I exhausted myself and all my resources. I gave up and He moved in.

There is so much joy in the freedom of this journey. Doing what I know to do makes life so easy. Its only my mind that complicates things. Simple obedience is such freedom. I am so in love with my savior. I love loving Him. Through the hurt, the pain, and the ' I don't knows'  its so so so beautiful. 

Thanks God for showing up and showing off today.  I love Your ways. 

and I love You, Precious One.


Tuesday, February 3, 2009


how in the world.

i feel like I could do so much more
I feel like my commitment level to the Lord could definitely be greater. 

Yet I am the one who is looked at as 
weird, or out there, or extravagant, or waaaay spiritual... 

if culture decides what is "weird" as far as spirituality, 
then why don't some of us decide to be the weird ones who dare to walk in the things of the Lord and create a new normal.

What would that do for the next generation?

just a thought. 

Monday, February 2, 2009


all the time in the world to sleep
yet im so tired

i dont want to sleep
i want to do something
yet its so hard to do anything right now

i dont know how to do this right now
its like i dont even have the energy to come to the one who can give me rest

i need joy
im done with saying I am great
then the next minute feeling no so great

i am excited about being away from everyone. 
because then there is no one to ask me what I am doing. I get that question too many times, every single day. 

and then theres talking about 'the situation.'- just so you all know, I have more peace about that than anything else in life right now. I am not frustrated, or the least upset or angry about it. That whole thing has God all over it. Duh the situation was not of God, but He does not waste our pain or our mistakes. The only thing that even remotely bothers me about that whole thing, is facing judgemental people who do not know the heart of that family... anyways moving on. 

I just dont know
overall, i mean life is great, i have great friends, great family, 2 great churches to call home, great stuff, a great relationship with the King of the Universe
i am  

I'll admit it. 
I am weak.
I am not disciplined at all right now.
I am not using time wisely. 
I am frustrated. 
I need help.
I need my community. 
Yet I feel so distant from every community I have ever been a part of.
I want to commit, yet I refuse to jump into something that I don't feel released to do. 
I want direction, and want to plug in and connect somewhere right now more than any of you can imagine. 
Its not as easy as just choosing something. If only you knew what happens on the inside of me the moment I consider doing anything right now.
Nor is it easy to wait. too much time makes my already crazy mind go crazier.
I need help. I just want consistency. somewhere.
no thats not all I want. 
I just have to know. thats all. I want to know.
yes. I want to know what I am doing is right. whatever that is. and God knows I am open.

I know what I "need" to do with this time
I dont need that from anyone, my head is enough.

I know the "answers"
trust. wait. have patience. pray. ask God. read the word. connect somewhere. find someway to occupy your time. pray more. read the word more. discipline yourself. yet dont strive. declare the word over yourself. speak positively. read this book and that one. and on and on. i know. 

and I know all the scriptures about the peace of God, and trusting God and waiting on Him, and resting and burdens and all of that.

Yes I believe it all. but no I am not walking in it right now. yet I am. all at the same time. I'm well past the point of no return, so its not like I am sinking down, I am just weak.

I need you.
to pick me up
and carry me
and protect me
and dont let the enemy continue to do this to me
and, well, i dont even know. 
I just cant continue on like this. 

sure I can "continue on"
as i said, i am not sinking down, 
i will live life, and go to church and talk to people like normal
but i just at least need you to know whats going on, on the inside. 

i dont know how to tell u to help.  or what to tell you to do. other than pray. i guess that is all anyone really can do right now. and i just need you to know that i need you. whoever you are. and whatever that means.

Monday, January 26, 2009


I don't know where I am going,
and I'm not doing much of anything right now
Just waiting.
Its one of the most unsettling things ever
and it makes me feel like a lazy slacker
yet at the same time,
its the only thing that feels remotely right at the time.

not fun.

and every day, 14,000 people ask me what I am doing.
and all I can say is


Sure, I'm glad they're concerned, but I have nothing to say.
and I hate it. 
hmmm. guess that might be a good thing-- very humbling.
everyone has a different suggestion. 
and none of it feels right. 
at all.

I suppose I just have to pick some route soon...
or do I just continue to wait for the right door?
or is it already open and I am just blind to it?
I don't even have any idea whatsoever what the wise decision is here. 

sometimes, the whole trust thing, it stinks.
I just can't convince myself to choose any other way. 
It will be worth it. 
Its got to be.

In my life up to this point 
trusting God AND His timing
has ALWAYS paid off

I mean really. I'm reminded of a good ol' classic song-

I have so much to thank God for
So many wonderful blessings, and so many open doors....
For every mountain You have brought me over 
For every trial You have seen me through
For every blessing, HALLELUJAH
For this I give You praise...

I end up going places and doing things and getting to glorify God
in ways that not a lot of people get the opportunity to do
and its amazing.

I will endure through this,
I will continue to trust
and it will pay off. 
I know my God and I know He keeps His promises.

I am an olive tree in my Daddy's house.
I will trust in His UNFAILING LOVE. Always.


Where is the power?

Does God have us in a season of waiting and testing?
or are we refusing His movement?

Will we walk in freedom?
or are we too proud to see that we are bound?

Are we welcoming His spontaneous intervention?
or are we embarrassed?

Are we open to His fire?
or are we refusing the pain that accompanies the glory?

Do we even want Him?
or are we fine with what we have?

Will we see revival?
or are we too arrogant to repent?

Can we break out of our complacency?
or are we just going to continue to wallow in self-pity?

Will we return to our first love?
or continue to look in all the wrong places?

Will we walk in the unity He desires for us?
or continue to wait till everything fits our taste?

Will we see the signs and wonders and miracles?
or is our focus only on our entertainment and convenience?

Will we see mass salvations?
or are we waiting for them to somehow stumble into our churches?

Will we even see salvations in our churches?
or will we miss opportunities because something isn't done our way?

Will we stand strong when our nation is weak?
or choose to believe we are in recession too?

Will we have confidence in the face of adversity?
or walk in fear as if we have no where to turn?

Have we forgotten our roots?
or have we forsaken them?

Where is the power?

Will we even ask the question?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


[inspired by JonGreen]

Sure. there will always be moments where our feelings seem to get the best of us, but its important to remind ourselves of the truths that we KNOW deep inside the promises we can hide in our hearts. be encouraged:

We are all human. thus in your relationships you will have times of hurt, of pain, of disappointment. BUT there IS a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Wounds from a friend are worth it. Counsel that comes from the heart of a friend makes the heart rejoice. Strive to be the friend you see in scripture, and you will reap what you sow. Love at all times. Stick closer than a brother and let iron sharpen iron.

Sure, bear one another's burdens, but lay down your burden for the Lord's. For His yoke is easy and His burden light. It fulfills the law of Christ to bear the burden of another, but He also promises that His burden is light... Therefore even the burden of another MUST be light if carried within the context of God's word.

Your King. The King of the Universe. He desires intimacy with You. You know How much He wants it? He reached and is reaching down to a tiny dot on a tiny blue dot in a tiny galaxy in a universe too massive for every ounce of our technology to discover.... wow. Thats who you belong to. Take joy. and comfort. and peace. and rest. and purpose. and life in THAT God. Your God.


I will never stop

I will pass this

I won't ever

For when I am

Then I am

You are my

In you I find my

Your grace is

I am absolutely

For it is in my

that Your

is made

Thursday, January 8, 2009


You are so beautiful
You respond to my longing
and my desires
and my earnest heart's cry

This is EXACTLY why I trust
You sustain me
You give me peace when the road takes an unpleasant turn
You give me joy

I don't deserve your faithfulness
You are provider to me
You are my strength
You are the God of lost things, big things and small things

Even though I still can't see what's up ahead
You come reveal yourself and assure me
Nor is this season you are in.

O God, how I long to be with you
How I long to know I am in your will
For you are so worthy of all of me
All I am is yours.

Monday, January 5, 2009


Resolutions usually don't ever work, because its about what we can and can't do. Thus I am going to prophecy over myself for 2009 because then its in His hands. and He is a lot stronger than me...and with prophecy i can step into things that I know I cannot do on my own. This is quite liberating--I encourage you to do the same for your own life.

Amanda Michelle Fisher,
I prophecy for 2009:
You are in a season of discovering the reformer in you. You will step into that role at an accelerated pace.
You are hearing the voice of the Lord clearer than ever and moving in whatever direction the Spirit leads.
Your eyes are being opened to the word and your mind is focused through His renewing power.
You have a renewed strength in your mind and body.
You will continually walk in exceedingly abundant joy.
You will discover a new peace through intimacy with the Father.
Your life of prayer will be deepened and you will be continually enticed by the Holy Spirit and love every moment of it.
You will have opportunities to nurture others until they can nurture themselves and you will complete this task almost without even realizing it.
The Spirit inside of you will change the atmosphere everywhere you go.
You will hear and obey the voice of wisdom.
You will love like you have never loved.
You will accomplish much for the Kingdom.
You will go where eyes have not seen and ears have not heard, all for the glory of the Lord.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

reminisce. 003.


Friday, April 21, 2006

I'm Here!
Ok so its weird to think that its actually here. My whole family has been talkin about the Azusa Street Centennial for like 3 years. For a long time i didnt even know what they were talkin about and then, the closer it got the more I have learned about it and anticipated it. So after all these months of my parents and other family members doing tons of preparations and traveling a lot, the time has finally come. Ok so really it doesnt officially begin till Tuesday, but there is some pre stuff tho.So ya. We are here. In LA. I am soo excited to see what the next several days will hold. Its gonna be RETARTED! (That basically means something along the lines of really insanely awesome, for you non-rampers who may have been confused). Anyways ya. Any of you feel free to call me at any time (505-3440) and I will let you know how things are goin. And I will also try to put some stuff on here. ByeBye!


Saturday, April 22, 2006

Current mood: jubilant

Heres an update... Whoa so today was really really awesome. Early today i went to a meeting with all the people running like the flow of traffic and the flow of people at azusa like the people who run the sports arena the coliseum and traffic directors and cops and stuff and then also like the main people running the centennial. it was pretty interesting to say the least. u dont realize how much planning has to go in to this kinda thing till u go to somethin like that. so ya and then i went with my parents and the main director dude billy wilson(who took my grandpas place) and his like secretary or something and we went to eat at this real good italian place. then on the way back to our hotel, we were sittin in the car and my dad was asking billy if he was going to this prayer thing at union church tonight and he was like no i have meetings but ya i think lou engle will do a great job. and i was like WHAT?! i just looked at my mom and she was like ya we were gonna let u be surprised. so then i was pumped. and so then we were at the room and my grandma got there and stuff and then after a while we left to go to the church. we got there early so we walked over to the original location of the azusa street mission building thingy.
Friday, April 21, 2006

so that was cool and then we went back to the church and wow it was crazy. Holy Ghost was all up in that place! it was awesome! it was a small church and there was only like maybe 50 people there. Before lou got up there, this dude was talkin and he was talking about how a bunch of youth he had been with were getting the revelation that awakening was gonna come through unity and then this guy took the mic (i think it was jessie engle but i am not positive. several kids were there with lou. ya. sweet.) and he started singin the chorus of you are holy and every body joined in and we sang you are worthy and you are holy. it was sweet. so then lou spoke

and it was awesome and he talked alot about God remembering the work of those who moved his heart and how we can change the heart of heaven. It was pretty sweet. and then we went in to prayin and several youth prayed on the mic at different times.

and then after we prayed for a while, we did this thing where we got in circles and talked and then prayed some more. it was pretty incredible.

And then these two old spirit-filled black ladies got up there and were shoutin and testifyin and dancin and talkin bout the old days and about what God is doing now and stuff. they were so cute! everyone was laughin. that was fun. i didnt get to talk to lou tonight cuz they had to leave, but i am pretty sure i will get to within the next few days. Ya so today was awesome. this blog is really long and that wasnt even all of it. Jesus blows my mind. And today is only the first full day of bein


Sunday, April 23, 2006


This morning at like 9, there was a 3 mile Holy Ghost processional march thingy that went from the Bonnie Brae street house to the original Azusa Street location. The Bonnie Brae Street house was where the revival began with a prayer meeting, and then so many people were there that the porch collapsed and then they decided to move to a new location thus being 312 Azusa Street. (there was a sentence-long history lesson for ya.)

So anyways on the way there, our driver got us lost so we were a little bit late but not too bad. Well in the car we were talkin about how we didnt know how many people were gonna be at this thing and dad was like well maybe like 100 or so. So then we get to the Bonnie Brae house and were basically blown away.

So at first we were standing down in the road with everyone but then Jack Hayford spotted my grandma and so we got to go up right in front of the house with all the VIPs.

So then the march started. And we were at the front and could look back at all the people. And as the march went on we got to a couple hills and turns where we would look back and people just kept comin. So much for the 100 people! There ended up being 3-5 thousand! It was awesome!

So we went along for a long time and took lots of pictures and listened to music and talked to people and stuff . There was a lot of countries represented there. And there was different groups like the Bahama Brass Band and a bunch of Filipino's that were singin and flag groups and all kinds of people.

The parade ended up at the Azusa Street site where they have a tent set up on the original location of where the building was.

Jack Hayford led a thing out there under the tent for the people who were there before the processional got there.

Then all the people from the processional got there and then that began worship, prayer, singin, dancin, and shoutin, that is gonna go around the clock from what i understand. Sweet!

When all the people from the processional got there, they stayed outside at the tent stuff while we got to go in and eat cake and celebrate what was basically the kick-off event for the Azusa Centennial week. That was some good cake. There was like a ton of press people in there too and someone wanted to interview me but i passed on that one. haha.

David Bishop also presented his painting of the Azusa Street revival. Its pretty awesome.

After all of that, we went back to the hotel which is connected to the mall so we ate in the food court and then i went shoppin but didnt find nothin tho. of course. i stink at shopping. somebodys really gotta help me with that one day. then we went back to the room and went to my grandmas room and her sister was there too so talked to them for a long time and then we just stayed in the room and I talked to rachel and bree and people online and talked to linz and perry on the phone and stayed on myspace for a long time. Fun fun!


Monday, April 24, 2006

Unity is a good thing.

Today we didnt much because it was sort of our day to rest i guess. So we were just in the room a lot and I went and ate at the California pizza kitchen with my moms boss and his daughter jacki. Later tonight we went over to Azusa street where they have been having around the clock worship and prayer. but before we went out there, me and my mom went to part of the rehersal of the covenant which is a musical they are gonna do here, cuz jacki is in it. So then at about 9:45 we went out to the tent and it was pretty cool. There was quite a few people there. and it was cool to look around and realize that we were some of the very few white people,but then i looked around and realized that there was a awesome mix of peopel all together. Many nations,ages,ethnic groups and denominations were all represented adn we just worshipped together. it was pretty sweet. so anyways these filipino girls sang and led worship and that went good and we all sang a bunch of old but good songs. and then my dad was taking a few pictures and then he motioned for me and mom to come up there. so the 3 of us sat up at the front and realized that were VIPs even when we didnt want to be. haha. because we were about to leave when we went up there and then the guy randomly had my dad speak and pray out of no where. it was funny. he did good tho. but ya tonight was really cool to realize how we could all come together in unity. and it was pretty awesome because of that.


Sunday, May 07, 2006

Azusa stuff. (World's longest blog)

I definately did not have time like at all to update this thing towards the end of the week in LA. and then once or twice I deleted blogs. Annoying... and then i had a busy week so ya. Here we go for some Azusa updates...I'm gonna start back at Tuesday to add pictures and stuff.

so today i got up really really early and we had to leave the room by 7:30. so we get to the convention center and there was already a bunch of people and more kept comin and comin and before we knew it people were in a big mob waiting to get in the door for the first general session with charles blake and ron kenoly. and the registration line grew and grew and started going way down halls and stuff. i didnt go in the session but could see it from the second story in the office where my dad was. its actually a really cool view from there cuz you can see everyone. it was cool to just look through the glass into the service and see thousands of people with their hands raised.

It was great to just sit back and take it all in that all this was actually really finally here and happening. then at 10:15, i went to a ministry tract (like a teaching session) on pentecostal worship in your youth group. well the guy that was supposed to speak had to be in argentina for a meeting so some other dude had to spoke and it was pretty good. nothin incredible, but good. then at 11:30, we didnt go to any of the tracts, me and brooke ray went and ate in the food court. then we went back over and went to a worship conference session and Christ for the nations institute was there and they did great. Jesus was there more than them so ya. good stuff. they sang eddies's lion of judah, that was good. ha. Then after them this dude named georgian got up there and he was well....interesting. he was a great violinist but his singin was kinda um different. but the weird thing is that he did everything to a track and it wasnt even a split track. so no live band no nothin... just him and the cd. o and the violin. and the crazy thing is that u could hear him singin and playin on the cd and on the mic and it wouldnt always quite line up...ya we definately couldnt take this guy seriously and we ended up just leavin. but it did us for a good laugh. then i ended up goin back to the hotel for a while then back to the convention center to hear benny hinn. so we got there and we decided to just listen and watch from the upstairs office through the window looking down into the service. so we went up there and it was awesome to watch. You hear peopel talking about a "wave" of worship, well ya i really understand that now. because we would watch and you really could see the wave of the spirit. it was incredible. like people responding at different times in different ways so it looked like waves. ya.

cool. we also saw this woman get up out of her wheel chair and start pushin it around. it was great. and then later he said if you are hungry for the spirit to go up there and so thousands of people rushed up to the front and so then we got to watch as benny hinn prayed for different sections of the crowd and it was like a wave or like dominoes people falling out under the power of the anointing of the spirit. and then like at one point my mom looked and saw like several people in different areas of the room all fall at the same time which was all that was fun. um after that i think i just came back to the room i dont really remember.

Today Darlene Zschech led worship in the morning session and that was great and then Brian Houston who is the pastor of Hillsong, spoke and he did a great job.

He talked about calling and purpose and about how what is in your hands, like what ur good at, is your calling. what you do, and whats in your heart, like who u wanna be, is your purpose and he talked about using whats in your hands to fulfill whats in your heart.
Then at 10:15, I went to a ministry tract called How to Birth your God-given vision. This guy Al Hollingsworth taught it and it was really awesome. Then I didnt go to a tract at the 11:30 time. Judy Jacobs did a tract at that time that I wanted to go to, but it was full and some people were being jerks basically about wanting to get in but the fire marshall stayed at the convention center to make sure we didnt crowd to many people in rooms. So ya. Then I ate with several of the Fisher family up in the offices. so that way we didnt have to leave the convention center. Then me and my momma walked around the exhibit hall some then i went to a few minutes of a worship session at 2. This girl Julie Meyer was there. I liked her a lot. Kinda reminded me of misty edwards or jessie rogers. Ya i know they sound a lot different, but ya basically just a prophetic edge to her music. Good stuff. Then I looked online later and i think she has done stuff with IHOP. Then I had to leave that early to head over to the Azusa site because in theater right by it, was a musical that I went to called the Covenant. It was awesome. I was actually in it a few years ago, but theyve changed some stuff and ya its awesome. Its the story of the nation of Israel and the Jewish people from beginning till present day. Most of the people in it are from Israel and they take this show lots of places but especially all over israel. They added a scene about Azusa street that was sooo powerful. Since my mom works with Ministry to Israel, she knows all these people so we went to th reception afterwards with israel people and pastors and important people basically. After we left there we got a taxi back over to the convention center and we went to the service that Claudio Fredzon and Carlos Anacondia spoke at. What i heard of it was good but i realized i am really bad at trying to listen to translators... then i think we came back to the room.

This mornin i had some really weird rash thing before i left which looked and felt like a sunburn so ya that wasnt good. but then before too long it went away... anyways...Rod Parsley did the general session.

That went really well. At 10:15 I went to a session called A Generation at Risk with Ron Luce. That was good. After that I think I just walked around and stuff and probably went and got junk food out of the green room and stuff and went and hung out upstairs in dads office and stuff. Ok so after the 11:30 sessions, theres not another session till 2. It was like 12 and all the sudden I look out in the hall and there was a massively massive line to get into the Apostolic and Prophetic ministy conference session with Bill Hamon. like hundreds of people. And it just kept growin. Like that session category had been really full all week but this was insane. and the room couldnt even hold that many so they were trying to figure out what to do so they moved a couple of sessions to other rooms and stuff. It was crazy. people everywhere. Then at like 1 i went down to the Re-digging the Wells of Azusa Street session that had also been really full all week. And i got in but had to go to the back against the wall. So I just sat there and watched people. It made me feel like crap too to see the way people were acting just to get in....For some of it I just wanted to be like people this is a Christian event so act like it. But anyways it was crazy and quite a few seemed to think that rules didnt apply to them. but it did make me really proud of some of the staff because they handled some crazy people really well. I was talkin to ashley wilson who was the centennial administrative coordinator, about it later like the next day or something and he said that a couple people came up and apologized after so at least they did that. Basically that whole situation made me realize how much you really do have to guard your actions to not get to that point and how it can be so easy to slip in to acting worse than u probably even realize if you dont. But on to the better part. After the session finally started at 2, it went really really well. Cindy Jacobs spoke. She's pretty awesome. Much of the time was her prophecying over random people. It was cool to see God move like that cuz she read a lot of people's mail.She talked about revival (obviously) and we had some good times of prayer and stuff and we spent some time in worship .Quite fun. All throughout the week, as I would be walking through the convention center, theres was always people prayin for each other or random Holy Ghost times right in the middle of the floor.

It was great to see that all week. Later I hung out with my friend Rachael Caffrey for a while and to make a long frustrating story somewhat shorter, basically we wanted to go to the youth service but some certain people she was with were being over protective and so we didnt have a ride and then finally we got one then ended up at the wrong place then finally got to the right place. The service was at a Church of God in Christ church, I love black people really. They are so much fun. The service was good, they did a couple cool drama/dance things and other stuff. Well a good chunk of the way before it was over, our ride shows back up and i was like guys i dont want to leave and so i will just ride the shuttle back and the guy didnt believe me that my parents would be ok with that so i let him talk to my mom on the phone so she said i could stay and they left. Well after they left, a guy spoke and we worshipped and danced and just had a good time and stuff, and i stood with this girl i had met earlier that night and stuff and we talked some and then 45 minutes later, one of the girls that was with the driver dude came in and was like ummmm he didnt feel comfortable leaving you here by yourself so we waited on you.... ya, that made me pretty mad... cuz #1 i was at a church service with a lot of centennial people, #2 my parents were fine with it, and #3 they made me think they had left... ya. i was not happy to say the least. Then after i got back to the room i talked to Johnny speed on the phone updating him on everything and he updated me on what was going on in good ol Cleveland, or maybe that was a different day. i dunno. anyways So parts of this day were quite frustrating, but parts of it were pretty awesome as well. The good definately outweighed the bad tho so ya.

Today i got up late and later in the mornin i realized a had that weird sunburn lookin thing again and i later figured out that i was like allergic to the soap they had there. which was weird cuz i am not allergic to much of anything besides like cats. o well so anyways i got to the convention center at maybe like 10 i guess it was and then i hung out in my dads office and just walked around and ate and did whatever and then went down to help out wiht this luncheon that we were going to later. The luncheon was the Centennial Ministy Team(CMT) and the Fishers. the CMT is basically all the speakers throughout the week and all these well known people so it was cool to be with all them. My family was up at a table at the front and it was pretty interesting to see who all would come and jsut talk to us and its pretty crazy to actually be with all these people at one time. So we had a really good lunch then they honored the memory of my grandpa and then the guy who played like 75f the music in the Passion of the Christ and in other movies, played some cool instrument for us and then Rick Warren spoke on leadership and did awesome. That whole experience was fun but the only downfall was that it was like past 2 when it ended so i was missin lou engles session. but right after that was over, i went to the end of the session which was overly full but we got in (oh the power of a purple lanyard. gets ya anywhere. ha.) So i go in and i caught the last chunk of Lou's thing which was great of course and then heidi baker got up and spoke. She wasnt even scheduled to be there at all but the Lord told her to to come so she flew there for like that day in between flying to diffenent countries ha. she was really awesome and hilarious. then towards the very end of her thing, i saw Lou walkin out so i went ahead and left to cuz i knew he was headed up to my dads office cuz he was doin some interview thing. (my dad was over the media stuff). So once we were up there i got to talk to Lou and I told him hey from Ramp Cleveland and stuff so that was cool.

So a little later, i was txting rachel dotson and she asked what he said and i told her he had basically been like o ya cleveland, theres lots of roots there. and so she was like thats crazy cuz of Jessicas dream so then i was like whoa that is cool. A while back, Jessica Montgomery had had this dream where basically our prayer group was on this hill and we were told to dig down to the roots and then the holy spirit covered the whole hill once we had gotten down and dirty. wow. i just summarized a really long detailed dream in like 1 sentence. amazing. ha. anyways so ya it was cool that he had said roots. i knew he meant heritage, but it was still cool. so i got off the phone and was all excited about it and so i was tellin kay horner, who was like a secretary person about it and she was like Amanda. Look at this. and she pulls out her big ol azusa notebook and opens to the front page and hands me this piece of paper of where they had typed out points of a prophetic word given at a Azusa prayer meeting on Tuesday March 21, that went with that dream really insanely well. so then i was like really freakin out cuz Jesus just likes to continually blow my mind. so heres a copy of that...

The Word of the Lord came saying:
The Lord is doing a foundational work, it is a deep work, not shallow or flitting,
A deep prodding will cause a high flow, bringing new plants, new growth, and new revelation..
Out of the depths will come freshness, it is a freshness that will amaze many, including scholars, historians, and church and denominational leaders.
Movements thought long gone will find a new beginning. It will seem as though a generation has been birthed at once.
Dry, arid places will bloom with new spiritual flowers. Crusted, hard people will become softened.
I will dig beyond the flesh, beyond the carnal, and shallow. To the base, the core, out of this will come new life, new understanding.
Fresh manifestations will come, and even the secular will be amazed. It will be a chain reaction.
People who havent embraced the supernatural will grasp it and be amazed.
Do not mix and mingle that what is of man with that what is of me. Dig into the word
Rejoice at what I Am about to do says the Lord.

This prophetic word was delivered by Bishop Billy Wilson at 8:50 pm on the twenty-first day of March 2006 at the Tuesday night Azusa Street prayer meeting in Cleveland, TN.

Ya pretty amazing. So then i mentioned it to Lou a little later and he was tellin me about Dutch Sheets prophecy over Lee and stuff and i actually knew it better than he did ha but that was cool and then we talked for a sec. and he was sayin how theres definately good and bad roots in Cleveland and stuff. and then later after we had talked, i watched just a tad bit of the service and then talked on the phone and stuff and then later that nite i went down to a youth worship thing but people were comin in and out a lot and it was kinda confusing at what was going on and i ended up havin to leave to catch the shuttle back to the hotel but for what of it was there it was good. Then i went back to the room.

The big day! First thing this mornin, they had Reach LA. It was an outreach thing where Feed the Children brought 30 trucks.

Each of the trucks had 400 boxes in them. Each box helped feed a family for 2 weeks. So ya 12,000 families were helped out. Cool stuff. Today was the day where everyone came together in the sports arena and had a big together again meeting service thingy. It was pretty awesome.

I dont feel like typing a ton about it but if you wanna know what went on, just turn on TBN or Daystar at the right time or go to where that service and a lot of the others are achived. But ya it was pretty sweet. And then the youth convocation was awesome as well.
Ron Luce and Jentezen Franklin spoke and a few others. Good stuff.

One of the coolest things was when the whole CMT (centennial ministry team)layed hands on and anointed all the youth.

That was great. We all stood in huge lines and worshipped and prayed and then we would walk through one of the several lines of CMT people then go back to your seat and then just really enter in to the worship that was going on. But what was so cool for me, is that the line i went in, my grandma was in and so i get to her and we just stood there and hugged each other and she was cryin and was sayin i prayed i'd get you. it was a really cool moment cuz the reality of everything both of us i think right then. Cuz it was like whoa. 1.we were standing there in a line where the older generation was laying hands on the younger generation which was one of the main things my grandpa wanted to happen 2.grandpa wasnt there, but he had a much greater view of it all sittin up there with william seymour and all them, and God knows so it was ok. 3. It had been an incredible week. this whole thing had really happened. 4. the laying on of hands thing was about passing mantles which theres tons of stuff about that cuz of what God is revealing to me and others about my Grandpas mantle of spiritual renewal being passed to me... ya its crazy, and we all have questions of what its to look like and thinkin of the whole mantle thing at that moment was a bit overwhelming, God is way bigger than me, thats all i know... So ya all that combined was just really a surreal moment. Anyways and then afterwards we worshipped a while and it was awesome adn the Lord really worked in a lot of peoples lives.

then at the very end we were shoutin about something,(we did a whole lot of shoutin that day) and brooke looked over at me and was like i bet i can shout louder than you and then a little later we were clappin and she said i bet i can clap longer than you so starting then we both clapped non stop for a really long time. it was funny. and then finally after forever, all 4 of our parents attacked us at the same time and pulled our hands apart. so we decided we would have to continue another day haha. then we went back to the room and i got online and stuff and talked for a little bit then packed and only got like 2 hrs of sleep cuz we headed out to go back home at 3am... nice.

So basically the whole week was amazingly incredible. Jesus never ceases to rock my face off and amaze me like all the time. It was awesome to get to be around a whole lot of amazing men and women of God. And it was crazy that I really did get to be like right there and I met so many of them. It was awesome to see tons of denominations all there together in unity. There was so many times where I just kinda stood where was and was like wow. Ya. I love Jesus. He's cool like that.

reminisce. 002.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005


I just thought all of this was pretty interesting. Many of you might really understand this stuff and some of you won’t but if you are wondering about some stuff I am always willing to talk to you about the Love of Christ and would love to share with you all he can do for you!

The other day at church we sang a song that talked about the Holy Spirit falling on you like rain. I really began to think about what that would mean for the holy spirit to fall on you like rain so I looked at some of the physical characteristics of rain…

Rain- to pour down, to bestow abundantly, the decent water falling in drops condensed from vapor in the atmosphere.
Required for Survival
Is key to growth
Cleanses and Clears away
Rain has much strength and can bring destruction
Rain can cause fear because of its power ex. floods
Can be heard

In the definition of rain, it says to pour down. In Acts 2:33 which says , “Now he sits on the throne of highest honor in heaven, at God's right hand. And the Father, as he had promised, gave him the Holy Spirit to pour out upon us, just as you see and hear today.” ,it shows us that God wants to pour down his spirit on us. The next part says to bestow abundantly. It is definitely my prayer for the lord to bestow his spirit abundantly on me. Isaiah 11:2 says “And the Spirit of the LORD will rest on him – the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD.” The next part talks about water falling. There are several times in the bible where God’s spirit is said to be the living water. John 4:10 says, “Jesus replied, "If you only knew the gift God has for you and who I am, you would ask me, and I would give you living water." Its also cool how when the Spirit of the Lord is in a room you can really sense as change in the atmosphere, as with rain. In Deuteronomy 28:12 it says, “The LORD will send rain at the proper time from his rich treasury in the heavens to bless all the work you do. You will lend to many nations, but you will never need to borrow from them.” and Isaiah 30:23 says, “Then the LORD will bless you with rain at planting time. There will be wonderful harvests and plenty of pastureland for your cattle.” There, it shows rain as a blessing. The spirit of God is definitely an incredible gift and blessing! In Acts 1:8 it says, “But when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, you will receive power and will tell people about me everywhere – in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." God obviously wants to allow His Spirit to rain down on the lives of his people to prepare them for the harvest of people he is going to set before them.
The characteristics of rain and the relation to the Spirit of the Lord, really show the importance of being filled with the Spirit of God! Ephesians 5:18 commands us to be filled with the spirit! So seek the face of God and ask His Spirit to rain down on you so we can reach out to the world in a powerful way!

By the way its pretty crazy that as i was writing this blog, 2 people randomly started IMing me and talking about rain. Then a couple minutes later it started raining outside. Then another friend of mine wrote a blog a put as the subject, You are my sunshine after the rain. Pretty Crazy!

reminisce. 001.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Thoughts about Luke 6:43

People drown in their own oblivion. They settle on what they only think they know. There is so much deception, and truth is yet to be found. Assumptions made from only the outer appearance of fruit on the tree, somehow slip into becoming belief. Truth is exposed only for a quick glimpse then thrown back and put away as false. If bad fruits are exposed, it is important to ensure that they are taken care of immediately whereas to not ruin the entire tree. Bad fruits that are not taken care of when they should be can lead others into oblivion that can overtake unless someone grabs on to the tree and pulls themselves out of the pool of lies and oblivion that so many people are deceived by, and begins a search for truth. That tree must be grabbed a hold of, shaken and disturbed until all of the fruit has fallen off and truth is exposed. Every bit of the tree, down to the fine details of the branches are then exposed. What was once seen as a very fruitful tree, appearing to be so healthy and full of life is now exposed down to the very core. Each piece of fruit then lies open for all to see what is really inside. Fruit that looks good on the outside can indeed be something so different inside. Good and bad fruit don’t come from the same tree. Even though people may be taken back, disappointed and surprised at what lies within, it’s really a joyous time because that fruit is no longer a part of the tree. The bad fruit can no longer cause further damage to the tree. Sure there are scars, but scars are better than open wounds that only get worse and worse. The tree then, being beaten, bruised, and scarred has to start a new growing process. Its better for a tree that has gone bad to have to start over, scarred, than for a bad tree to sit and rot in its own mess of lies. Of course someone has to get a hold of the tree and shake it until truth comes out because it has been sitting in its mess of lies slowly rotting away for so long that the tree has become numb to the damage being done. It may take more than one person to shake all the bad fruit off of the tree but it had to be done.


I am going to take some of my really old myspace blogs and post them on here... so if any blog is titled reminisce, you'll know its one of the old ones.


My very spontaneous, but very comfortable life was shaken a few weeks ago... Before, I could rest in knowing that I was completely in the place of God's will even with the spontaneity of every day. Right now, I am on a search for where He would have me to go and what He would have me to do. I have no idea what will take place on any given day or where I will end up. Its learning, listening, watching and waiting for now. Its definitely an interesting journey in this season... and a bit of an uncomfortable one at that.

I have always been one to tell everyone to trust the Lord
and I have considered my trust in Him to be one of my greatest strengths for quite a while now.
I trust Him, thus He is putting me in situations where I have to trust Him. Big time.
But even in the midst of all of the questions, its so glorious.
Because testing leads to new and greater things.
The Lord likes to test us to find out our hearts, and to see if we will stay true to His commands so we can then fear Him in order that He can bring us to a good land...

I am trusting and waiting on His direction. I don't have to understand. He has promised me that He will direct my paths. Because of this, I have a peace. I can be still and know that He is God.

Psalms 52:8 
"But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever."

(this is my favorite verse for sure.... trust and TREES!)