Thursday, October 23, 2008


You are so close today. 
I feel You right here with me.
I always know You're near, but there is something special about today.

Maybe it was my time last night with Nadine and Q. 
Community changes everything.
You are always here, but seeing and hearing what you are doing in individual lives just makes You feel that much closer. 
I guess I just become more aware. 
I can talk the talk all day about who You are and what You are doing, but its those times when You just come and embrace me that really change me.
My heart is for You. 
even when I just sit there.
And I know You see my heart.
Maybe this is a way that You are breaking ME. 
I need to be shaken and broken and moved. 
I am sick of myself. 
My mind gets me nowhere but down a path of frustration.
But YOU....
You are so freeing.
and joyful. 

Lord I need your restoration.
I need the strength, energy, desire and fire
that come from You alone. 
Let the fire of intimacy burn deep into my heart, down into my bones.
Give me Your wisdom so I can fulfill the desires of Your heart. 
Hold me close so I can lay against Your chest and feel Your heartbeat.
I want to move WITH You. Not ahead, not behind. 
I need You. 

Lord help me to be able to focus on Your Word.
I say I will read time and time again...
Then I go to actually read and get so distracted. 
I am so over that. 
Help me. 
I want to read and learn more about You.
I guess this is one of those things I feel like I should be able to do...
but yet again- God I can't even do this on my own. 
There is beauty in that though, its living dead. 
When I'm dead I can't really do anything by myself huh?
I need You. 
I love You. 

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