[a gust of wind in our sails.]
In a simple facebook message to him after reading it, I realized the magnitude of my own reflections on his reflections and thus- I blog.
First, even if you know me, and quite possibly even if you know me well, there's something most of you probably don't know. Here lately, I've been on an intense journey of what I have referred to as "learning to walk again." Within this season has been some of the deepest pain, disappointment, and loneliness I have ever felt. At the same time, its been growth, discovery, and hints of some of the greatest joy, peace, and glory I've ever known. Before this, was a crazier season. It was the negative emotions I mentioned on top of what felt like spiritual and even mental paralysis. In that season I had two separate worlds-
World #1 was in public; where I functioned mostly normal- seeking God, dreaming with people, and enjoying life. (Normal except for the times when the effects of world #2 eeked into world #1- some people could tell when this happened, many others were oblivious).
And then there was World #2. This was when I was alone. Torment, tears, anger, frustration and confusion were the norm. I ALWAYS knew World #1 was who I really am and it angered me beyond belief that this "other world" was even present.
Through prayer with a close friend several months ago in a time where World #2 was clearly eeking into World #1, what I always thought deep down became made known. World #2 that I dealt with for so long was not self-inflicted as I had grown to believe- instead, it was a deliberate attack from the enemy. Satan's tactics were exposed and my friend and I went to war- it was painful, ugly, nasty, and very real. However, the good thing is, because my God is a warrior, victory was inevitable.