Wednesday, April 15, 2009

follow.

I am done asking why. 
I've been asking the Lord that question for too long. 
And attempting to make sense of things that probably aren't meant to make sense.


So often I question what I think the Lord might be saying to me instead of just doing it. 
And you know what? its not too often that I get an answer. 
All it does it create stress and really the hated word, confusion. 
Why would I create something I hate? 
Thats why I'm done asking why. 

Its time to just act on what I feel the Lord is saying. 
If I'm wrong, I'm wrong. 
Holy Spirit will show me if its displeasing to Him.
If I am right and it simply makes no sense, chances are, it will in the future. and if not, so what. its not my will I am after anyways. If He wants me to do something for no reason at all, I'll still do it- just to please my Father. 

And the 'What ifs' and regrets are just dumb. 
I'm over that too. It gets me nowhere. 

So for everyone who wants to know what in the world I'm doing, 
I've been saying, I don't know, but really, I do know. 
Following the cloud and the fire. And gathering stones on the journey.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

faithful.

Hebrews 3:1-3 (The Message)
1 So, my dear Christian friends, companions in following this call to the heights, take a good hard look at Jesus. He's the centerpiece of everything we believe,2 faithful in everything God gave him to do. Moses was also faithful, 3 but Jesus gets far more honor. A builder is more valuable than a building any day.


God I pray that we have the revelation of how faithful You are.
When we are walking through the valley of the shadow of death, let us remember that its only a shadow.
Let us take comfort in your faithfulness. For Your love never fails. 
By You, O God, I stay amazed.

Faithful Lord, when You get the greatest Glory, I get the greatest good.
When I am hurting, You are faithful to mend my brokenness.
When I am dry, You are faithful to wash me in Your cleansing flood.
When I am weak, I am so very strong. For Your faithfulness remains- its  my weakness that perfects Your power.
Thank You Lord for being faithful and just to forgive my sins.

You never leave me or forsake me.

God You are the faithful God-
The one who keeps Your covenant of love to a thousand generations to those who love You and keep Your commands.
The one who does no wrong, You are upright, and just.
The one who shows Yourself faithful to the faithful.
The one who keeps us strong.
The one who protects, cleanses, and forgives.
The Creator who cannot deny Himself, thus remains faithful even in our faithlessness.
You are Faithful in all You do.
You are the rider on the white horse, called Faithful, and True. In righteousness You judge and make war.

Your faithfulness makes it so easy to trust You.
May I learn to be faithful to You, Jesus, just as You have been faithful to the Father.
Faithful and True, I honor You today.
Selah.

Monday, March 30, 2009

urgency.

Never in my life have I seen and heard so much emphasis and talk about the end times. 
Never in my life have I sensed such an urgency in the Spirit -- theres such a drawing towards prayer right now- prayer without ceasing.

We are reaching a point where the dividing line between the saved and the unsaved will begin to become very clear. For so long, so many have claimed to be saved and have not lived a lifestyle that brings glory to the Father.

 The Lord is placing a demand on our commitment right now. 

We as the body of Christ are in a time where our faith, belief, and trust are being tested in so many ways.  The Lord is drawing hearts and revealing Himself to His people. 
We are reaching a point where we must decide- die to ourselves now or die an eternal death.
The middle ground is fading away. 

I sense an urgency in the Spirit like never before.
I long to see the face of my King like never before.

No longer will I sit still waiting on life to happen around me. 
No longer will I feel as though there is nothing to do.
No longer will I be shy about the beauty of the Father. 

I am so over what people think.
For so long I have said people don't bother me, yet I change what I talk about around so many people as to not be viewed as "overly spiritual."
I am so over that! 
I take delight in the fact that people will be able to see that I am in such an intimate, close relationship with the King of the Universe. There is absolutely no shame in that, what an honor!

I have a peace and a confidence that will sustain me and propel me into the promises the Lord has shared with me. 
However, I am realizing more and more that my life is not to be lived with the focus on getting to that promise, but focus on Glorifying the Father and being placed into that promise. 

I cannot get myself there. Learned that one.
I WILL live my life to bring Glory to my Father every day. 
 
Is the Lord coming back soon? Well no man knows the day or the hour, yet I refuse to ignore the drawing that is  becoming so evident throughout the body. 
I don't know when the Lord will return, and what its all going to look like, but I will take heed to this drawing. I will bring Glory and Honor to my Father daily and live life with a constant awareness of the urgency of the hour. 
Whether the Lord is coming tomorrow or ten thousand years from now, He has marked this season with an intimate urgency for a purpose.
I will not ignore this.

WEIGHT IS EVIDENT.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

strength.

STRENGTH ARISING

peace and boldness resound today
I am so thankful for all God has done today. Its been an incredibly refreshing day. The Lord knew my heart even though my body and emotions were screaming resistance. I'm so glad He sees past all that. He has blown me away with His faithfulness today. What peace and joy. And really, its been so easy. So--- not me. I've reached my end.  tired, worn out, weak, in pain.  I exhausted myself and all my resources. I gave up and He moved in.

There is so much joy in the freedom of this journey. Doing what I know to do makes life so easy. Its only my mind that complicates things. Simple obedience is such freedom. I am so in love with my savior. I love loving Him. Through the hurt, the pain, and the ' I don't knows'  its so so so beautiful. 

Thanks God for showing up and showing off today.  I love Your ways. 

and I love You, Precious One.

Selah.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

weird.

how in the world.

i feel like I could do so much more
I feel like my commitment level to the Lord could definitely be greater. 

Yet I am the one who is looked at as 
weird, or out there, or extravagant, or waaaay spiritual... 

if culture decides what is "weird" as far as spirituality, 
then why don't some of us decide to be the weird ones who dare to walk in the things of the Lord and create a new normal.


What would that do for the next generation?

just a thought. 

Monday, February 2, 2009

confession.

all the time in the world to sleep
yet im so tired

i dont want to sleep
i want to do something
yet its so hard to do anything right now

i dont know how to do this right now
its like i dont even have the energy to come to the one who can give me rest

i need joy
im done with saying I am great
then the next minute feeling no so great

i am excited about being away from everyone. 
because then there is no one to ask me what I am doing. I get that question too many times, every single day. 

and then theres talking about 'the situation.'- just so you all know, I have more peace about that than anything else in life right now. I am not frustrated, or the least upset or angry about it. That whole thing has God all over it. Duh the situation was not of God, but He does not waste our pain or our mistakes. The only thing that even remotely bothers me about that whole thing, is facing judgemental people who do not know the heart of that family... anyways moving on. 

I just dont know
overall, i mean life is great, i have great friends, great family, 2 great churches to call home, great stuff, a great relationship with the King of the Universe
yet 
i am  
not 
okay. 

I'll admit it. 
I am weak.
I am not disciplined at all right now.
I am not using time wisely. 
I am frustrated. 
I need help.
I need my community. 
Yet I feel so distant from every community I have ever been a part of.
I want to commit, yet I refuse to jump into something that I don't feel released to do. 
I want direction, and want to plug in and connect somewhere right now more than any of you can imagine. 
Its not as easy as just choosing something. If only you knew what happens on the inside of me the moment I consider doing anything right now.
Nor is it easy to wait. too much time makes my already crazy mind go crazier.
I need help. I just want consistency. somewhere.
no thats not all I want. 
I just have to know. thats all. I want to know.
yes. I want to know what I am doing is right. whatever that is. and God knows I am open.

I know what I "need" to do with this time
I dont need that from anyone, my head is enough.

I know the "answers"
trust. wait. have patience. pray. ask God. read the word. connect somewhere. find someway to occupy your time. pray more. read the word more. discipline yourself. yet dont strive. declare the word over yourself. speak positively. read this book and that one. and on and on. i know. 

and I know all the scriptures about the peace of God, and trusting God and waiting on Him, and resting and burdens and all of that.

Yes I believe it all. but no I am not walking in it right now. yet I am. all at the same time. I'm well past the point of no return, so its not like I am sinking down, I am just weak.

I need you.
to pick me up
and carry me
and protect me
and dont let the enemy continue to do this to me
and, well, i dont even know. 
I just cant continue on like this. 

sure I can "continue on"
as i said, i am not sinking down, 
i will live life, and go to church and talk to people like normal
but i just at least need you to know whats going on, on the inside. 

i dont know how to tell u to help.  or what to tell you to do. other than pray. i guess that is all anyone really can do right now. and i just need you to know that i need you. whoever you are. and whatever that means.

Monday, January 26, 2009

unfailing.

I don't know where I am going,
and I'm not doing much of anything right now
Just waiting.
Its one of the most unsettling things ever
and it makes me feel like a lazy slacker
yet at the same time,
its the only thing that feels remotely right at the time.

not fun.

and every day, 14,000 people ask me what I am doing.
and all I can say is

I
DON'T 
KNOW.

Sure, I'm glad they're concerned, but I have nothing to say.
and I hate it. 
hmmm. guess that might be a good thing-- very humbling.
everyone has a different suggestion. 
and none of it feels right. 
at all.

I suppose I just have to pick some route soon...
or do I just continue to wait for the right door?
or is it already open and I am just blind to it?
I don't even have any idea whatsoever what the wise decision is here. 

sometimes, the whole trust thing, it stinks.
I just can't convince myself to choose any other way. 
It will be worth it. 
Its got to be.

In my life up to this point 
trusting God AND His timing
has ALWAYS paid off


I mean really. I'm reminded of a good ol' classic song-

I have so much to thank God for
So many wonderful blessings, and so many open doors....
For every mountain You have brought me over 
For every trial You have seen me through
For every blessing, HALLELUJAH
For this I give You praise...


I end up going places and doing things and getting to glorify God
in ways that not a lot of people get the opportunity to do
and its amazing.

I will endure through this,
I will continue to trust
and it will pay off. 
I know my God and I know He keeps His promises.


I am an olive tree in my Daddy's house.
I will trust in His UNFAILING LOVE. Always.

power.

Where is the power?

Does God have us in a season of waiting and testing?
or are we refusing His movement?

Will we walk in freedom?
or are we too proud to see that we are bound?

Are we welcoming His spontaneous intervention?
or are we embarrassed?

Are we open to His fire?
or are we refusing the pain that accompanies the glory?

Do we even want Him?
or are we fine with what we have?

Will we see revival?
or are we too arrogant to repent?

Can we break out of our complacency?
or are we just going to continue to wallow in self-pity?

Will we return to our first love?
or continue to look in all the wrong places?

Will we walk in the unity He desires for us?
or continue to wait till everything fits our taste?

Will we see the signs and wonders and miracles?
or is our focus only on our entertainment and convenience?

Will we see mass salvations?
or are we waiting for them to somehow stumble into our churches?

Will we even see salvations in our churches?
or will we miss opportunities because something isn't done our way?

Will we stand strong when our nation is weak?
or choose to believe we are in recession too?

Will we have confidence in the face of adversity?
or walk in fear as if we have no where to turn?

Have we forgotten our roots?
or have we forsaken them?

Where is the power?

Will we even ask the question?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

belong.

[inspired by JonGreen]

Sure. there will always be moments where our feelings seem to get the best of us, but its important to remind ourselves of the truths that we KNOW deep inside the promises we can hide in our hearts. be encouraged:

We are all human. thus in your relationships you will have times of hurt, of pain, of disappointment. BUT there IS a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Wounds from a friend are worth it. Counsel that comes from the heart of a friend makes the heart rejoice. Strive to be the friend you see in scripture, and you will reap what you sow. Love at all times. Stick closer than a brother and let iron sharpen iron.

Sure, bear one another's burdens, but lay down your burden for the Lord's. For His yoke is easy and His burden light. It fulfills the law of Christ to bear the burden of another, but He also promises that His burden is light... Therefore even the burden of another MUST be light if carried within the context of God's word.

Your King. The King of the Universe. He desires intimacy with You. You know How much He wants it? He reached and is reaching down to a tiny dot on a tiny blue dot in a tiny galaxy in a universe too massive for every ounce of our technology to discover.... wow. Thats who you belong to. Take joy. and comfort. and peace. and rest. and purpose. and life in THAT God. Your God.

silence.

I will never stop
chasing

I will pass this
test

I won't ever
quit

For when I am
weak

Then I am
strong

You are my
peace

In you I find my
zeal

Your grace is
sufficient

I am absolutely
thankful

For it is in my
weakness

that Your
power 

is made
perfect.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

sovereign.

You are so beautiful
You respond to my longing
and my desires
and my earnest heart's cry

This is EXACTLY why I trust
You sustain me
You give me peace when the road takes an unpleasant turn
You give me joy

I don't deserve your faithfulness
You are provider to me
You are my strength
You are the God of lost things, big things and small things

Even though I still can't see what's up ahead
You come reveal yourself and assure me
NO, THIS LIFE IS NOT IN VAIN
Nor is this season you are in.

O God, how I long to be with you
How I long to know I am in your will
For you are so worthy of all of me
All I am is yours.

Monday, January 5, 2009

prophecy.

Resolutions usually don't ever work, because its about what we can and can't do. Thus I am going to prophecy over myself for 2009 because then its in His hands. and He is a lot stronger than me...and with prophecy i can step into things that I know I cannot do on my own. This is quite liberating--I encourage you to do the same for your own life.




Amanda Michelle Fisher,
I prophecy for 2009:
You are in a season of discovering the reformer in you. You will step into that role at an accelerated pace.
You are hearing the voice of the Lord clearer than ever and moving in whatever direction the Spirit leads.
Your eyes are being opened to the word and your mind is focused through His renewing power.
You have a renewed strength in your mind and body.
You will continually walk in exceedingly abundant joy.
You will discover a new peace through intimacy with the Father.
Your life of prayer will be deepened and you will be continually enticed by the Holy Spirit and love every moment of it.
You will have opportunities to nurture others until they can nurture themselves and you will complete this task almost without even realizing it.
The Spirit inside of you will change the atmosphere everywhere you go.
You will hear and obey the voice of wisdom.
You will love like you have never loved.
You will accomplish much for the Kingdom.
You will go where eyes have not seen and ears have not heard, all for the glory of the Lord.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

reminisce. 003.

THE FOLLOWING IS A GROUP OF SEVERAL BLOGS I WROTE WHILE AT THE AZUSA STREET CENTENNIAL. (slightly edited to fit this progression of days) ITS TOO LONG FOR MOST PEOPLE'S READING ENJOYMENT, BUT I REALLY DID IT FOR ME. ANYHOW, ENJOY IF YOU WISH.
___________________________________________

Friday, April 21, 2006

I'm Here!
Ok so its weird to think that its actually here. My whole family has been talkin about the Azusa Street Centennial for like 3 years. For a long time i didnt even know what they were talkin about and then, the closer it got the more I have learned about it and anticipated it. So after all these months of my parents and other family members doing tons of preparations and traveling a lot, the time has finally come. Ok so really it doesnt officially begin till Tuesday, but there is some pre stuff tho.So ya. We are here. In LA. I am soo excited to see what the next several days will hold. Its gonna be RETARTED! (That basically means something along the lines of really insanely awesome, for you non-rampers who may have been confused). Anyways ya. Any of you feel free to call me at any time (505-3440) and I will let you know how things are goin. And I will also try to put some stuff on here. ByeBye!

----------------

Saturday, April 22, 2006


Whoa.
Current mood: jubilant

Heres an update... Whoa so today was really really awesome. Early today i went to a meeting with all the people running like the flow of traffic and the flow of people at azusa like the people who run the sports arena the coliseum and traffic directors and cops and stuff and then also like the main people running the centennial. it was pretty interesting to say the least. u dont realize how much planning has to go in to this kinda thing till u go to somethin like that. so ya and then i went with my parents and the main director dude billy wilson(who took my grandpas place) and his like secretary or something and we went to eat at this real good italian place. then on the way back to our hotel, we were sittin in the car and my dad was asking billy if he was going to this prayer thing at union church tonight and he was like no i have meetings but ya i think lou engle will do a great job. and i was like WHAT?! i just looked at my mom and she was like ya we were gonna let u be surprised. so then i was pumped. and so then we were at the room and my grandma got there and stuff and then after a while we left to go to the church. we got there early so we walked over to the original location of the azusa street mission building thingy.
Friday, April 21, 2006

so that was cool and then we went back to the church and wow it was crazy. Holy Ghost was all up in that place! it was awesome! it was a small church and there was only like maybe 50 people there. Before lou got up there, this dude was talkin and he was talking about how a bunch of youth he had been with were getting the revelation that awakening was gonna come through unity and then this guy took the mic (i think it was jessie engle but i am not positive. several kids were there with lou. ya. sweet.) and he started singin the chorus of you are holy and every body joined in and we sang you are worthy and you are holy. it was sweet. so then lou spoke

and it was awesome and he talked alot about God remembering the work of those who moved his heart and how we can change the heart of heaven. It was pretty sweet. and then we went in to prayin and several youth prayed on the mic at different times.

and then after we prayed for a while, we did this thing where we got in circles and talked and then prayed some more. it was pretty incredible.

And then these two old spirit-filled black ladies got up there and were shoutin and testifyin and dancin and talkin bout the old days and about what God is doing now and stuff. they were so cute! everyone was laughin. that was fun. i didnt get to talk to lou tonight cuz they had to leave, but i am pretty sure i will get to within the next few days. Ya so today was awesome. this blog is really long and that wasnt even all of it. Jesus blows my mind. And today is only the first full day of bein here...wow.

------------------

Sunday, April 23, 2006


Sweet!

This morning at like 9, there was a 3 mile Holy Ghost processional march thingy that went from the Bonnie Brae street house to the original Azusa Street location. The Bonnie Brae Street house was where the revival began with a prayer meeting, and then so many people were there that the porch collapsed and then they decided to move to a new location thus being 312 Azusa Street. (there was a sentence-long history lesson for ya.)

So anyways on the way there, our driver got us lost so we were a little bit late but not too bad. Well in the car we were talkin about how we didnt know how many people were gonna be at this thing and dad was like well maybe like 100 or so. So then we get to the Bonnie Brae house and were basically blown away.

So at first we were standing down in the road with everyone but then Jack Hayford spotted my grandma and so we got to go up right in front of the house with all the VIPs.

So then the march started. And we were at the front and could look back at all the people. And as the march went on we got to a couple hills and turns where we would look back and people just kept comin. So much for the 100 people! There ended up being 3-5 thousand! It was awesome!

So we went along for a long time and took lots of pictures and listened to music and talked to people and stuff . There was a lot of countries represented there. And there was different groups like the Bahama Brass Band and a bunch of Filipino's that were singin and flag groups and all kinds of people.



The parade ended up at the Azusa Street site where they have a tent set up on the original location of where the building was.

Jack Hayford led a thing out there under the tent for the people who were there before the processional got there.

Then all the people from the processional got there and then that began worship, prayer, singin, dancin, and shoutin, that is gonna go around the clock from what i understand. Sweet!



When all the people from the processional got there, they stayed outside at the tent stuff while we got to go in and eat cake and celebrate what was basically the kick-off event for the Azusa Centennial week. That was some good cake. There was like a ton of press people in there too and someone wanted to interview me but i passed on that one. haha.



David Bishop also presented his painting of the Azusa Street revival. Its pretty awesome.

After all of that, we went back to the hotel which is connected to the mall so we ate in the food court and then i went shoppin but didnt find nothin tho. of course. i stink at shopping. somebodys really gotta help me with that one day. then we went back to the room and went to my grandmas room and her sister was there too so talked to them for a long time and then we just stayed in the room and I talked to rachel and bree and people online and talked to linz and perry on the phone and stayed on myspace for a long time. Fun fun!

---------------------------------

Monday, April 24, 2006


Unity is a good thing.

Today we didnt much because it was sort of our day to rest i guess. So we were just in the room a lot and I went and ate at the California pizza kitchen with my moms boss and his daughter jacki. Later tonight we went over to Azusa street where they have been having around the clock worship and prayer. but before we went out there, me and my mom went to part of the rehersal of the covenant which is a musical they are gonna do here, cuz jacki is in it. So then at about 9:45 we went out to the tent and it was pretty cool. There was quite a few people there. and it was cool to look around and realize that we were some of the very few white people,but then i looked around and realized that there was a awesome mix of peopel all together. Many nations,ages,ethnic groups and denominations were all represented adn we just worshipped together. it was pretty sweet. so anyways these filipino girls sang and led worship and that went good and we all sang a bunch of old but good songs. and then my dad was taking a few pictures and then he motioned for me and mom to come up there. so the 3 of us sat up at the front and realized that were VIPs even when we didnt want to be. haha. because we were about to leave when we went up there and then the guy randomly had my dad speak and pray out of no where. it was funny. he did good tho. but ya tonight was really cool to realize how we could all come together in unity. and it was pretty awesome because of that.

------------------

Sunday, May 07, 2006


Azusa stuff. (World's longest blog)

I definately did not have time like at all to update this thing towards the end of the week in LA. and then once or twice I deleted blogs. Annoying... and then i had a busy week so ya. Here we go for some Azusa updates...I'm gonna start back at Tuesday to add pictures and stuff.



Tuesday
so today i got up really really early and we had to leave the room by 7:30. so we get to the convention center and there was already a bunch of people and more kept comin and comin and before we knew it people were in a big mob waiting to get in the door for the first general session with charles blake and ron kenoly. and the registration line grew and grew and started going way down halls and stuff. i didnt go in the session but could see it from the second story in the office where my dad was. its actually a really cool view from there cuz you can see everyone. it was cool to just look through the glass into the service and see thousands of people with their hands raised.

It was great to just sit back and take it all in that all this was actually really finally here and happening. then at 10:15, i went to a ministry tract (like a teaching session) on pentecostal worship in your youth group. well the guy that was supposed to speak had to be in argentina for a meeting so some other dude had to spoke and it was pretty good. nothin incredible, but good. then at 11:30, we didnt go to any of the tracts, me and brooke ray went and ate in the food court. then we went back over and went to a worship conference session and Christ for the nations institute was there and they did great. Jesus was there more than them so ya. good stuff. they sang eddies's lion of judah, that was good. ha. Then after them this dude named georgian got up there and he was well....interesting. he was a great violinist but his singin was kinda um different. but the weird thing is that he did everything to a track and it wasnt even a split track. so no live band no nothin... just him and the cd. o and the violin. and the crazy thing is that u could hear him singin and playin on the cd and on the mic and it wouldnt always quite line up...ya we definately couldnt take this guy seriously and we ended up just leavin. but it did us for a good laugh. then i ended up goin back to the hotel for a while then back to the convention center to hear benny hinn. so we got there and we decided to just listen and watch from the upstairs office through the window looking down into the service. so we went up there and it was awesome to watch. You hear peopel talking about a "wave" of worship, well ya i really understand that now. because we would watch and you really could see the wave of the spirit. it was incredible. like people responding at different times in different ways so it looked like waves. ya.

cool. we also saw this woman get up out of her wheel chair and start pushin it around. it was great. and then later he said if you are hungry for the spirit to go up there and so thousands of people rushed up to the front and so then we got to watch as benny hinn prayed for different sections of the crowd and it was like a wave or like dominoes people falling out under the power of the anointing of the spirit. and then like at one point my mom looked and saw like several people in different areas of the room all fall at the same time which was cool.so all that was fun. um after that i think i just came back to the room i dont really remember.



Wednesday
Today Darlene Zschech led worship in the morning session and that was great and then Brian Houston who is the pastor of Hillsong, spoke and he did a great job.


He talked about calling and purpose and about how what is in your hands, like what ur good at, is your calling. what you do, and whats in your heart, like who u wanna be, is your purpose and he talked about using whats in your hands to fulfill whats in your heart.
Then at 10:15, I went to a ministry tract called How to Birth your God-given vision. This guy Al Hollingsworth taught it and it was really awesome. Then I didnt go to a tract at the 11:30 time. Judy Jacobs did a tract at that time that I wanted to go to, but it was full and some people were being jerks basically about wanting to get in but the fire marshall stayed at the convention center to make sure we didnt crowd to many people in rooms. So ya. Then I ate with several of the Fisher family up in the offices. so that way we didnt have to leave the convention center. Then me and my momma walked around the exhibit hall some then i went to a few minutes of a worship session at 2. This girl Julie Meyer was there. I liked her a lot. Kinda reminded me of misty edwards or jessie rogers. Ya i know they sound a lot different, but ya basically just a prophetic edge to her music. Good stuff. Then I looked online later and i think she has done stuff with IHOP. Then I had to leave that early to head over to the Azusa site because in theater right by it, was a musical that I went to called the Covenant. It was awesome. I was actually in it a few years ago, but theyve changed some stuff and ya its awesome. Its the story of the nation of Israel and the Jewish people from beginning till present day. Most of the people in it are from Israel and they take this show lots of places but especially all over israel. They added a scene about Azusa street that was sooo powerful. Since my mom works with Ministry to Israel, she knows all these people so we went to th reception afterwards with israel people and pastors and important people basically. After we left there we got a taxi back over to the convention center and we went to the service that Claudio Fredzon and Carlos Anacondia spoke at. What i heard of it was good but i realized i am really bad at trying to listen to translators... then i think we came back to the room.

Thursday.
This mornin i had some really weird rash thing before i left which looked and felt like a sunburn so ya that wasnt good. but then before too long it went away... anyways...Rod Parsley did the general session.

That went really well. At 10:15 I went to a session called A Generation at Risk with Ron Luce. That was good. After that I think I just walked around and stuff and probably went and got junk food out of the green room and stuff and went and hung out upstairs in dads office and stuff. Ok so after the 11:30 sessions, theres not another session till 2. It was like 12 and all the sudden I look out in the hall and there was a massively massive line to get into the Apostolic and Prophetic ministy conference session with Bill Hamon. like hundreds of people. And it just kept growin. Like that session category had been really full all week but this was insane. and the room couldnt even hold that many so they were trying to figure out what to do so they moved a couple of sessions to other rooms and stuff. It was crazy. people everywhere. Then at like 1 i went down to the Re-digging the Wells of Azusa Street session that had also been really full all week. And i got in but had to go to the back against the wall. So I just sat there and watched people. It made me feel like crap too to see the way people were acting just to get in....For some of it I just wanted to be like people this is a Christian event so act like it. But anyways it was crazy and quite a few seemed to think that rules didnt apply to them. but it did make me really proud of some of the staff because they handled some crazy people really well. I was talkin to ashley wilson who was the centennial administrative coordinator, about it later like the next day or something and he said that a couple people came up and apologized after so at least they did that. Basically that whole situation made me realize how much you really do have to guard your actions to not get to that point and how it can be so easy to slip in to acting worse than u probably even realize if you dont. But on to the better part. After the session finally started at 2, it went really really well. Cindy Jacobs spoke. She's pretty awesome. Much of the time was her prophecying over random people. It was cool to see God move like that cuz she read a lot of people's mail.She talked about revival (obviously) and we had some good times of prayer and stuff and we spent some time in worship .Quite fun. All throughout the week, as I would be walking through the convention center, theres was always people prayin for each other or random Holy Ghost times right in the middle of the floor.

It was great to see that all week. Later I hung out with my friend Rachael Caffrey for a while and to make a long frustrating story somewhat shorter, basically we wanted to go to the youth service but some certain people she was with were being over protective and so we didnt have a ride and then finally we got one then ended up at the wrong place then finally got to the right place. The service was at a Church of God in Christ church, I love black people really. They are so much fun. The service was good, they did a couple cool drama/dance things and other stuff. Well a good chunk of the way before it was over, our ride shows back up and i was like guys i dont want to leave and so i will just ride the shuttle back and the guy didnt believe me that my parents would be ok with that so i let him talk to my mom on the phone so she said i could stay and they left. Well after they left, a guy spoke and we worshipped and danced and just had a good time and stuff, and i stood with this girl i had met earlier that night and stuff and we talked some and then 45 minutes later, one of the girls that was with the driver dude came in and was like ummmm he didnt feel comfortable leaving you here by yourself so we waited on you.... ya, that made me pretty mad... cuz #1 i was at a church service with a lot of centennial people, #2 my parents were fine with it, and #3 they made me think they had left... ya. i was not happy to say the least. Then after i got back to the room i talked to Johnny speed on the phone updating him on everything and he updated me on what was going on in good ol Cleveland, or maybe that was a different day. i dunno. anyways So parts of this day were quite frustrating, but parts of it were pretty awesome as well. The good definately outweighed the bad tho so ya.

Friday.
Today i got up late and later in the mornin i realized a had that weird sunburn lookin thing again and i later figured out that i was like allergic to the soap they had there. which was weird cuz i am not allergic to much of anything besides like cats. o well so anyways i got to the convention center at maybe like 10 i guess it was and then i hung out in my dads office and just walked around and ate and did whatever and then went down to help out wiht this luncheon that we were going to later. The luncheon was the Centennial Ministy Team(CMT) and the Fishers. the CMT is basically all the speakers throughout the week and all these well known people so it was cool to be with all them. My family was up at a table at the front and it was pretty interesting to see who all would come and jsut talk to us and its pretty crazy to actually be with all these people at one time. So we had a really good lunch then they honored the memory of my grandpa and then the guy who played like 75f the music in the Passion of the Christ and in other movies, played some cool instrument for us and then Rick Warren spoke on leadership and did awesome. That whole experience was fun but the only downfall was that it was like past 2 when it ended so i was missin lou engles session. but right after that was over, i went to the end of the session which was overly full but we got in (oh the power of a purple lanyard. gets ya anywhere. ha.) So i go in and i caught the last chunk of Lou's thing which was great of course and then heidi baker got up and spoke. She wasnt even scheduled to be there at all but the Lord told her to to come so she flew there for like that day in between flying to diffenent countries ha. she was really awesome and hilarious. then towards the very end of her thing, i saw Lou walkin out so i went ahead and left to cuz i knew he was headed up to my dads office cuz he was doin some interview thing. (my dad was over the media stuff). So once we were up there i got to talk to Lou and I told him hey from Ramp Cleveland and stuff so that was cool.

So a little later, i was txting rachel dotson and she asked what he said and i told her he had basically been like o ya cleveland, theres lots of roots there. and so she was like thats crazy cuz of Jessicas dream so then i was like whoa that is cool. A while back, Jessica Montgomery had had this dream where basically our prayer group was on this hill and we were told to dig down to the roots and then the holy spirit covered the whole hill once we had gotten down and dirty. wow. i just summarized a really long detailed dream in like 1 sentence. amazing. ha. anyways so ya it was cool that he had said roots. i knew he meant heritage, but it was still cool. so i got off the phone and was all excited about it and so i was tellin kay horner, who was like a secretary person about it and she was like Amanda. Look at this. and she pulls out her big ol azusa notebook and opens to the front page and hands me this piece of paper of where they had typed out points of a prophetic word given at a Azusa prayer meeting on Tuesday March 21, that went with that dream really insanely well. so then i was like really freakin out cuz Jesus just likes to continually blow my mind. so heres a copy of that...

The Word of the Lord came saying:
The Lord is doing a foundational work, it is a deep work, not shallow or flitting,
A deep prodding will cause a high flow, bringing new plants, new growth, and new revelation..
Out of the depths will come freshness, it is a freshness that will amaze many, including scholars, historians, and church and denominational leaders.
Movements thought long gone will find a new beginning. It will seem as though a generation has been birthed at once.
Dry, arid places will bloom with new spiritual flowers. Crusted, hard people will become softened.
I will dig beyond the flesh, beyond the carnal, and shallow. To the base, the core, out of this will come new life, new understanding.
Fresh manifestations will come, and even the secular will be amazed. It will be a chain reaction.
People who havent embraced the supernatural will grasp it and be amazed.
Do not mix and mingle that what is of man with that what is of me. Dig into the word
Rejoice at what I Am about to do says the Lord.

This prophetic word was delivered by Bishop Billy Wilson at 8:50 pm on the twenty-first day of March 2006 at the Tuesday night Azusa Street prayer meeting in Cleveland, TN.


Ya pretty amazing. So then i mentioned it to Lou a little later and he was tellin me about Dutch Sheets prophecy over Lee and stuff and i actually knew it better than he did ha but that was cool and then we talked for a sec. and he was sayin how theres definately good and bad roots in Cleveland and stuff. and then later after we had talked, i watched just a tad bit of the service and then talked on the phone and stuff and then later that nite i went down to a youth worship thing but people were comin in and out a lot and it was kinda confusing at what was going on and i ended up havin to leave to catch the shuttle back to the hotel but for what of it was there it was good. Then i went back to the room.

Saturday.
The big day! First thing this mornin, they had Reach LA. It was an outreach thing where Feed the Children brought 30 trucks.

Each of the trucks had 400 boxes in them. Each box helped feed a family for 2 weeks. So ya 12,000 families were helped out. Cool stuff. Today was the day where everyone came together in the sports arena and had a big together again meeting service thingy. It was pretty awesome.


I dont feel like typing a ton about it but if you wanna know what went on, just turn on TBN or Daystar at the right time or go to streamingfaith.com where that service and a lot of the others are achived. But ya it was pretty sweet. And then the youth convocation was awesome as well.
Ron Luce and Jentezen Franklin spoke and a few others. Good stuff.

One of the coolest things was when the whole CMT (centennial ministry team)layed hands on and anointed all the youth.

That was great. We all stood in huge lines and worshipped and prayed and then we would walk through one of the several lines of CMT people then go back to your seat and then just really enter in to the worship that was going on. But what was so cool for me, is that the line i went in, my grandma was in and so i get to her and we just stood there and hugged each other and she was cryin and was sayin i prayed i'd get you. it was a really cool moment cuz the reality of everything both of us i think right then. Cuz it was like whoa. 1.we were standing there in a line where the older generation was laying hands on the younger generation which was one of the main things my grandpa wanted to happen 2.grandpa wasnt there, but he had a much greater view of it all sittin up there with william seymour and all them, and God knows so it was ok. 3. It had been an incredible week. this whole thing had really happened. 4. the laying on of hands thing was about passing mantles which theres tons of stuff about that cuz of what God is revealing to me and others about my Grandpas mantle of spiritual renewal being passed to me... ya its crazy, and we all have questions of what its to look like and thinkin of the whole mantle thing at that moment was a bit overwhelming, God is way bigger than me, thats all i know... So ya all that combined was just really a surreal moment. Anyways and then afterwards we worshipped a while and it was awesome adn the Lord really worked in a lot of peoples lives.

then at the very end we were shoutin about something,(we did a whole lot of shoutin that day) and brooke looked over at me and was like i bet i can shout louder than you and then a little later we were clappin and she said i bet i can clap longer than you so starting then we both clapped non stop for a really long time. it was funny. and then finally after forever, all 4 of our parents attacked us at the same time and pulled our hands apart. so we decided we would have to continue another day haha. then we went back to the room and i got online and stuff and talked for a little bit then packed and only got like 2 hrs of sleep cuz we headed out to go back home at 3am... nice.

So basically the whole week was amazingly incredible. Jesus never ceases to rock my face off and amaze me like all the time. It was awesome to get to be around a whole lot of amazing men and women of God. And it was crazy that I really did get to be like right there and I met so many of them. It was awesome to see tons of denominations all there together in unity. There was so many times where I just kinda stood where was and was like wow. Ya. I love Jesus. He's cool like that.

reminisce. 002.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005


Rain!

I just thought all of this was pretty interesting. Many of you might really understand this stuff and some of you won’t but if you are wondering about some stuff I am always willing to talk to you about the Love of Christ and would love to share with you all he can do for you!

The other day at church we sang a song that talked about the Holy Spirit falling on you like rain. I really began to think about what that would mean for the holy spirit to fall on you like rain so I looked at some of the physical characteristics of rain…

Rain- to pour down, to bestow abundantly, the decent water falling in drops condensed from vapor in the atmosphere.
Required for Survival
Is key to growth
Cleanses and Clears away
Rain has much strength and can bring destruction
Rain can cause fear because of its power ex. floods
Can be heard

In the definition of rain, it says to pour down. In Acts 2:33 which says , “Now he sits on the throne of highest honor in heaven, at God's right hand. And the Father, as he had promised, gave him the Holy Spirit to pour out upon us, just as you see and hear today.” ,it shows us that God wants to pour down his spirit on us. The next part says to bestow abundantly. It is definitely my prayer for the lord to bestow his spirit abundantly on me. Isaiah 11:2 says “And the Spirit of the LORD will rest on him – the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD.” The next part talks about water falling. There are several times in the bible where God’s spirit is said to be the living water. John 4:10 says, “Jesus replied, "If you only knew the gift God has for you and who I am, you would ask me, and I would give you living water." Its also cool how when the Spirit of the Lord is in a room you can really sense as change in the atmosphere, as with rain. In Deuteronomy 28:12 it says, “The LORD will send rain at the proper time from his rich treasury in the heavens to bless all the work you do. You will lend to many nations, but you will never need to borrow from them.” and Isaiah 30:23 says, “Then the LORD will bless you with rain at planting time. There will be wonderful harvests and plenty of pastureland for your cattle.” There, it shows rain as a blessing. The spirit of God is definitely an incredible gift and blessing! In Acts 1:8 it says, “But when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, you will receive power and will tell people about me everywhere – in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." God obviously wants to allow His Spirit to rain down on the lives of his people to prepare them for the harvest of people he is going to set before them.
The characteristics of rain and the relation to the Spirit of the Lord, really show the importance of being filled with the Spirit of God! Ephesians 5:18 commands us to be filled with the spirit! So seek the face of God and ask His Spirit to rain down on you so we can reach out to the world in a powerful way!

By the way its pretty crazy that as i was writing this blog, 2 people randomly started IMing me and talking about rain. Then a couple minutes later it started raining outside. Then another friend of mine wrote a blog a put as the subject, You are my sunshine after the rain. Pretty Crazy!

reminisce. 001.

Monday, August 29, 2005


Thoughts about Luke 6:43

People drown in their own oblivion. They settle on what they only think they know. There is so much deception, and truth is yet to be found. Assumptions made from only the outer appearance of fruit on the tree, somehow slip into becoming belief. Truth is exposed only for a quick glimpse then thrown back and put away as false. If bad fruits are exposed, it is important to ensure that they are taken care of immediately whereas to not ruin the entire tree. Bad fruits that are not taken care of when they should be can lead others into oblivion that can overtake unless someone grabs on to the tree and pulls themselves out of the pool of lies and oblivion that so many people are deceived by, and begins a search for truth. That tree must be grabbed a hold of, shaken and disturbed until all of the fruit has fallen off and truth is exposed. Every bit of the tree, down to the fine details of the branches are then exposed. What was once seen as a very fruitful tree, appearing to be so healthy and full of life is now exposed down to the very core. Each piece of fruit then lies open for all to see what is really inside. Fruit that looks good on the outside can indeed be something so different inside. Good and bad fruit don’t come from the same tree. Even though people may be taken back, disappointed and surprised at what lies within, it’s really a joyous time because that fruit is no longer a part of the tree. The bad fruit can no longer cause further damage to the tree. Sure there are scars, but scars are better than open wounds that only get worse and worse. The tree then, being beaten, bruised, and scarred has to start a new growing process. Its better for a tree that has gone bad to have to start over, scarred, than for a bad tree to sit and rot in its own mess of lies. Of course someone has to get a hold of the tree and shake it until truth comes out because it has been sitting in its mess of lies slowly rotting away for so long that the tree has become numb to the damage being done. It may take more than one person to shake all the bad fruit off of the tree but it had to be done.

reminisce.

I am going to take some of my really old myspace blogs and post them on here... so if any blog is titled reminisce, you'll know its one of the old ones.

still.

My very spontaneous, but very comfortable life was shaken a few weeks ago... Before, I could rest in knowing that I was completely in the place of God's will even with the spontaneity of every day. Right now, I am on a search for where He would have me to go and what He would have me to do. I have no idea what will take place on any given day or where I will end up. Its learning, listening, watching and waiting for now. Its definitely an interesting journey in this season... and a bit of an uncomfortable one at that.


I have always been one to tell everyone to trust the Lord
and I have considered my trust in Him to be one of my greatest strengths for quite a while now.
I trust Him, thus He is putting me in situations where I have to trust Him. Big time.
But even in the midst of all of the questions, its so glorious.
Because testing leads to new and greater things.
The Lord likes to test us to find out our hearts, and to see if we will stay true to His commands so we can then fear Him in order that He can bring us to a good land...

I am trusting and waiting on His direction. I don't have to understand. He has promised me that He will direct my paths. Because of this, I have a peace. I can be still and know that He is God.




Psalms 52:8 
"But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever."

(this is my favorite verse for sure.... trust and TREES!)

Friday, December 26, 2008

spur.

I was sitting at the kid's table for Christmas dinner the other night. It was me, my 12 year old cousin Harrison, my 10 year old cousin Lauren and their 9 year old cousin on their other side of the family, David. We were eating the worlds best hot fudge that we have every year at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Lauren always gets her sundae and stirs is up like soup....whatever makes you happy i guess... David isn't normally there with us at the holidays, so Lauren was keeping him well informed at what was going on. She looked at him at one point and said in somewhat of a disappointed tone, pointing at her bowl, "I don't have as much fudge in here as I normally do." To which I said, "go get some more." Lauren then says, "good idea!" and jumps up to go get more.

Have you ever been with a friend shopping and you pick up some new piece of clothing or some new gadget and before you know it your friend has convinced you to buy it? Or how many times have you considered doing something stupid and you move on with it just because your buddy says DO IT!

This happens all the time. One tiny little statement of encouragement can completely motivate us and cause us to do things we wouldn't necessarily do if we were alone. What if we all began to encourage one another in the things of the Lord? Consider this verse today and look for ways to act on it:

Hebrews 10:24 
Let us consider how we can spur one another on towards love and good deeds. 

Friday, December 12, 2008

response.

I wrote this on Thursday night and was going to wait until Sunday afternoon to post it since the congregation won't be addressed till then,  but considering I have already been contacted a few times today, and the story is already out in various places such as actscelerate, the Atlanta Journal Constitution among others and flying through the mouths of many COG leaders, I decided to go ahead and add a few things and post it.

As several of you now know,
Bishop Jim Bolin has stepped down from his position as pastor of Trinity Chapel as a result of "inappropriate sexual  behavior with the opposite sex."
As I have been taught by my youth pastor:
There is a difference between a sin and a lifestyle of sin.

I still trust Bishop 100%. He is an incredible man of God and just like the rest of us, he is human. Yes, he did sin, but I know that I know that this is not his lifestyle. He is not a bad man, he just did a bad thing. Bishop's heart is to get back in this thing and fight the right way- I know this, I have lived with his family and just talked to him today.

Remember:
ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

Some are just in a position where the consequences of their sin have to be handled on a much larger scale. Sure this whole thing has hurt me, but my pain is really for this family. I've been with them all week through all of this. I've heard the stories, I've seen the brokenness, I've felt the frustration of how the situation has to be handled, but at the same time I've seen the unity of this church, and this family. I have seen the love that Trinity Chapel has for their Bishop and have seen them respond in such a Godly way. They too know his heart.
  
Let me please just ask all of you:
1. Do not be quick to judge
2. Know that just because you hear something or read it on actscelerate or elsewhere, it doesn't make it truth- I have already seen this story exaggerated. When people don't know something they like to assume and well, we all know what assuming does.
3. Watch what happens next. See Love, Acceptance and Forgiveness displayed. Watch Trinity Chapel  rise up in a time where many would expect it to crumble.

 You know, a situation like  this shows the strength or weakness of a church body.  I always knew Trinity was strong, but wow. My God IS giving strength. He IS uniting hearts. He IS restoring lives. My God IS showing up. This body has HIS heart. Trinity Chapel has arisen in strength and unity. 
It has been a difficult week, but getting to watch the response of the family and congregation has been uplifting and encouraging. If you only heard all the stories and seen all the love I have seen this week. It really has been incredible. The family and congregation are turning to the Lord and not judgment or condemnation. Just as God has called us to do. Even through a week like this past one, there is no denying-- The Lord is on the move.


This HAS to be scaring the enemy. Satan meant this for evil, but all things work together for good to those who are in Christ Jesus and are called according to His purposes. 

God I thank you for showing up in this time. I thank you that you are continuing to reveal yourself to and through Trinity Chapel. Be with Bishop, Robin, Jessie, Jared, Berkleigh Jocelyn, Jason, Sarah, Jay and Caroline in this time. Let your healing waters flow. Amen.


TRINITY CHAPEL IS STANDING STRONG AND HER BEST DAYS ARE AHEAD OF HER.


Thank you so much to all who have been praying this week, even when most of you haven't known what it was about. Now you know, and as  I am sure you can tell, continued prayer for this family and church would be much appreciated.


For those of you wondering... 
- In no way do I regret my decision to move here.
- In no way do I think the timing for me to move here was wrong. It was and is exactly right. 
- I will be in Cleveland on Sunday or Monday until after Christmas and then I am returning to GA. 
- We are currently working on my new living arrangements, I'll keep you posted.
- I'm open to talking about all of this, if you have questions. Not that I will answer every question you have, but I'll let the faith and strength of the situation shine through.


**Due to ignorance and negative agendas of some certain individuals, I am no longer going to show the comments on this blog. Rumors and gossip get us nowhere. Thank you to those who have posted positive responses. Comments to fisher.relentless@gmail.com are still welcomed, they just won't be made public.**

Saturday, December 6, 2008

persuaded.


[emphasis mine]  Romans 4:19 Without weakening in his faith, [Abraham] faced the fact that his body was as good as dead--since he was about a hundred years old--and that Sarah's womb was also dead. 20 Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, 21 being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. 22 This is why "it was credited to him as righteousness." 23 The words "it was credited to him" were written not for him alone, 24 but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness--for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. 25 He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.


So I wonder. What's it going to take for us to get to this point of being "fully persuaded?" 

The key to this kind of faith is hunger...
If we hunger and thirst for righteousness, we will be filled. (Mt. 5:6) 
One definition of hunger is to seek with earnest desire.


Are you willing to seek God enough to be filled with the righteousness of absolute belief in Him and see His promises fulfilled?

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

burn.

[this is one of probably several long blogs that I am going to be writing over the next while and potentially eventually compiling and sorting through and rearranging and adding to etc... its more for me right now... to just process, well, me. I'm discovering who I am and how I got here. My confidence in who I am in Christ is strengthening every day. this is just a way for me to sort out my thoughts. right now they are scattered, but it all comes back around....Join me in this journey and read along if you wish]


I've always been the kinda kid that has to know why stuff is the way it is...

I never remember believing in Santa, but never felt like I missed out- I actually quite enjoyed feeling like I knew this secret that I wasn't supposed to know.

In math class, I couldn't be okay with the fact that pi was 3.14 and so on and why this symbol meant you were supposed to do this or that, I had to know why... I think that's why word problems and geometry were the only tolerable math  for me. With those I knew how they worked, thus could function just fine.

This also probably explains my computer skills. If any of you have ever asked me a computer question, you know that I either know it right away, or mess around until I figure it out. In my head there has to be a way it functions that way and once I know, I'm good.

As a kid, I was always sure to ask my parents why about everything, especially if I was in trouble. It wasn't that I was so upset of the fact that I was in trouble, but if I was, there better be a good reason.
BECAUSE I SAID SO. omg. I hated that more than anything.... well if you said so, WHY did you say so? There MUST be some reason behind it...

I was definitely not the easiest child to raise. I've always been very strong willed, wanting explanations for everything and not afraid to say anything. Although there was definitely some rebellion in my childhood that was dealt with later on, in many cases my strong-willed nature was not so much rebellion but rather a curiosity of what was really true and worth giving my attention to. Little did I know that this curiosity would be the story of my life fleshed out in a different way- a passionate dig for truth. Just explain to me why you're telling me to do this and not this and I will be glad to comply. Now I'm not justifying my actions as a kid and I learned later on that doing what I am told to do without or regardless of explanation was truly obedience, but I was so determined to figure things out, that it often looked like rebellion. Some of it indeed was, but fortunately my parents were able to help steer my strong willed nature in the right direction. Its interesting that my Grandfather was one of the first to vocalize that it could be good if steered correctly...

As a kid, I used to think that one day, just like Santa with most kids, adults were going to walk up to me and tell me that none of this whole God thing was true. Even with family and church family of all ages that went after the Lord, that was still a question in my mind from time to time.  I chose to follow the Lord, but in moments I definitely stepped around cautiously watching intently everyone and everything for any sight of falsehood.

Deep inside there was such a longing to discover the truth of this whole God thing. If it was real, all of it must be real. If God was fake, then I better find out.

As I began to search this out, I discovered more and more that it was true, then I would get excited to see verses and principles that completely explained my actions, thoughts and feelings. I would hear something and remember it and either test it out for myself, or at least watch intently to see if it played out in someone else's life. There has always been so much joy in confirmation, and as many of you know, the Lord has filled my life with it.

Of course, its not like if you hear something from scripture one time, it all makes sense and you can immediately walk in it, but rather we get to partake of the joy that comes when we really GET something.

I remember when I really GOT that I needed to obey my parents. I had heard it a lot, a WHOLE lot actually,  but I had to be convinced that there was a reason for submission. Once I was REALLY convinced that my God was real and His promises were true, I realized that my obedience would please the Lord.

That became my motivation. The more I discovered the beauty of the Lord, the more I wanted to please Him. I later realized that the more I please Him, the more blessings and favor I received.  Now, that definitely didn't fix it all with my parents, but instead of not caring that I was in trouble, it began to break my heart because I knew I had disobeyed not only my parents, but my perfect, all-deserving God.

I think my parents can attest to the fact that the more I began to seek the Lord, the less I disobeyed. Now Its not like my tongue and actions were immediately controlled once I truly believed in the Lord, but at least I had a heart to WANT to obey.

I cry when I'm mad, but honestly I think that is rooted in my hatred of disunity. Especially with certain people, If I'm mad, I just walk away.... That whole "be angry and sin not" thing is not always the easiest thing to go by, so I tend to just walk away for the time being.

I do good when I'm alone when I am upset or mad. I have a solid foundation. I know what I believe and where I stand on things. So sometimes I just need to get away from people to get my mind focused on what I know.

On the other hand... I'm also learning the absolute necessity of being with people. I don't know about everyone else, but for me, being with people is what keeps me sane. My mind goes all over the place when I have too much time to think. I try to figure out how to make everything work instead of just living life. When I am with people, I can just function exactly as I am supposed to without trying. Guess its that whole concept of the body... they cover my shortcomings and I cover theirs, even when we don't realize it. It just works.

Of course, all of that once again is the scripture just playing out before my eyes. You see, thats what I love. In the good or the bad, I can always have the joy, peace and comfort of knowing that everything goes back to His word. There is no denying it. I experience it more and more each day.

There is so much beauty in intimacy with the Lord. Praying without ceasing is my delight. I have a constant awareness that He is right here with me. Is it lonely sometimes? In the natural, absolutely. But in the spirit, no way. I feel a tighter embrace every day. And besides, the spirit is more real anyways. I've known that but I'm finally discovering it for myself.

Right now, this growing intimacy is burning inside of me. My passion and desire to see His presence infiltrate lives including my own is consuming. My spirit churns inside of me, longing for greater intimacy with my oh so intimate savior.  Its that same concept of praying for rain in the time of rain.

As a kid, if your parents give you something you don't normally get, what do you say? "Can I have more?" To which parents usually say something like, "if I give you an inch, you take a mile!"

Heres just one more reason why I think the Lord tells us that the kingdom of heaven is likened to a little child. This is His desire for us. When He gives us any part of Himself, He wants us to keep coming back for more.  I believe that the behavior of kids is often such a clear picture of the Kingdom if we open our eyes to it.

You ever notice that babies are so fascinated with light? No mistake.

I remember the day that I really GOT the concept of Psalms 22:3, that God inhabits the praises of His people. I had heard that but I remember when it clicked. In church services and other atmospheres, I  began to notice more and more that as I and other people pressed in to God, that His presence was stronger than before and that He would begin to move. Well I also had heard people say that its nothing You do that makes God come. When I was in Ireland in 2007, I discovered thats not the case. Now of course none of us deserve God's presence and thus we can't make Him visit us, however, He does go by His own Word- He IS the Word. If we praise, He will inhabit! We were in a really powerful service in Ireland where each member on the team was functioning in their role and many lives were changed. Before the service that night, in the girls room, we began to have an overwhelming hunger for the Lord. We prayed and focused on Him there, and then once we got in the service we all praised and God showed up. I then was questioning why He showed up so strong. I didn't want to say it was because of us, because I knew it wasn't but at the same time I knew it was no mistake that He showed up so strong on the night we were so focused on Him. Then that verse came to mind and I was overwhelmed. I had heard that over and over, but this time I got it. From then on, that concept changed the way I worshipped and affected how I thought of my God.
There is always more.

O God, how I long for more of You! This burning is all consuming, yet feels so contained. God let the fire of your spirit spread throughout Your body, Your beautiful bride. God fill our churches, our homes, our schools, our workplaces and our streets. God anywhere and everywhere we are, make us aware of Your presence in that place. Fill our hearts with joy and strength to get through this season which the world sees as lack. Make this a season of increase for us and let us discover the freedom of trusting and obeying You. God stoke the fire inside our already burning hearts until the fire has no choice but to consume us and spread out. Let us see salvations, miracles, and opportunities to express Your love without even trying to get there. Let the passion inside of us drive us to Your eyes.

God, my song to You will never lose its power. I mean it more and more every time.
I WANT TO SEE THE FACE OF MY KING. I WANT TO HEAR THE HEART OF MY FATHER.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

fabulantastic.

fabulantastic= fabulous, fantastic and the combination of those feelings, A RANDOM EXPRESSION OF JOY AND PEACE that just came out of my mouth one day and kinda just stuck.

Labrina told me to write a blog  about it so I did.  In reality it works great to describe where I am at right now. I don't really understand what the Lord is doing right now, but I have so much joy and peace in this season. My list of questions was definitely lengthened today with the death of Perry Keyt.  I was so encouraged by Melissa's strength  from an email I read  just after I had written the bottom part of this blog:  "God is a mighty God and I trust His plans and His ways, even when I don't understand. We will praise Him just because He is Worthy!"
WOW. What strength. Its incredible to see her have a heart of praise even in the midst of the death of her husband. What an encouragement she is to praise our God instead of sitting on our questions.  Life right now for so many is unpredictable and filled with I don't knows, but I'm learning more and more that His ways are so much better than ours. We can all walk in that kind of strength if we can put our trust in Him.  
Its all part of  "The ______ of the ______." [btw. that thing in quotes right there, that will be a book one day, but the blanks will be filled in... just thought i'd throw that out there.]
_________________________________________________________________________________
//Mysteries.

Majoring in the minor key
Rinsing with resolve
Constructing the skibobble
Preparing for the milter.

//Deluge.

Belief without reason
Yet every reason to believe
Core giving credence to entirety
Reconnoitering the perspicuous opacity

//Relentless.

Ceaseless depths
Wresting deepest desire
Sovereign roar
Whispering sweet
surrender

//Death.

Captivate me liberating surrender
Free me from my freedom
Dominate my control
Come reveal.





..."blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed."